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(satire)

A sinister organisation called G4S – infamous for its brutal mistreatment of its members – has claimed significant success against British troops in the wild and remote province of Stratford after the UK government revealed it was having to deploy thousands of extra troops to counter the threat of terrorism posed by the actions of the oppressive organisation there.

The troops will have the difficult job of ensuring security in the impoverished and forbidding area situated in the extreme south-east corner of the country in the face of successful efforts by G4S and its allies to destabilise attempts to secure the area from terrorist attacks.

The troops’ task will be made even more arduous by the fact the whole country at this time of year is in the middle of its wet season, with virtually continuous downpours of rain and thunderstorms, weather conditions which can last as long as 12 months of the year.

Not much is known about the leadership of G4S, apart from the fact they rule the people under their control with an iron fist, often deploying them under harsh and brutal conditions while at the same time creaming off millions of pounds in crooked payments from a small cabal of corrupt government officials based in the country’s remote capital of Chipping Norton.

G4S is believed to be allied to two other sinister organisations – Al Qonsa Fattif and Liber Al Dems –  which have seized control of large parts of the country and are terrorising and brutalising large numbers of the general population with their blind adherence to an extremist and ruthless ideology espoused by their leader, a cruel and ruthless man who likes to be known by his nom de guerre of ‘Daf I D’Qam Eron’.

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