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Offensive MPs may be made to wear ankle tags that monitor impropriety levels.

Politicians who fail to conform to established standards of good or proper behaviour could be forced to wear new hi-tech ankle tags to ensure they stop misbehaving.

It is part of a pilot scheme announced by the Government to target the most useless and obstreperous MPs.

A spokesperson for the government explained the reasoning behind the new orders:

These new propriety orders will allow us to tackle this problem more effectively and demand that binge drinking MPs who do nothing except swan around their constituencies attending parties at tax payers expense and falling asleep in Parliament sober up.

Police will have the power to impose “propriety orders” on MPs who have committed minor offences such as stealing off the tax payer, running the country into the ground or selling off the nation’s assets to line their own pockets.

Offenders’ transgression levels will be checked regularly and if they exceed acceptable limits they could be severely told off.

The ankle tags, which will use GPS technology, will also be used to track the movements of MPs to stop them visiting places like brothels or strip clubs.

Critics say the government will have problems implementing the new orders as it could well mean virtually all members in both Houses of Parliament will be affected leaving the nation with no-one left to run it.

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