Shortage of Competence Causes Panic Across Country
Panic has broken out across the UK as low levels of government competence reached crisis levels after ministers called for …
Monthly Archives: March 2012
Virgin Trains Set To Improve Surrey Health Services With Standing Room Only & Exorbitant Prices
NHS patients in Surrey to be treated by rail company in £500m deal Thousands of patients are to be cared …
Lib Dems Hail ‘Sensational Victory’ In Bradford West By-Election
The Liberal Democrats have hailed what they called their ‘remarkable victory’ in the Bradford West byelection, claiming that “By the …
Cameron announces emergency game of badminton to deal with fuel crisis
The Prime Minister, David Cameron, hit back at criticisms that his government wasn’t taking the fuel crisis seriously enough by …
US bubblewrap maker set to take over Broadmoor Hospital
In line with the buying up of other NHS hospitals by private firms, a groundbreaking deal has been announced for a US …
Don’t panic-buy and fill up on pasties, public urged
The public have been warned against “turning a rumour into a crisis” and urged not to fill up on pasties …
COMING SOON – Cameron’s TITANIC 2 – “sunk in deep water again”
. Related articles by Tom Pride: Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really. Shafted By Cameron – …
David Cameron – being found out accepting cash-for-access completely unacceptable
David Cameron has described being found out that the Tory party offers access to the prime minister and chancellor for up …
Dick Cheney Gets New Heart After Doctors Discover He Hasn’t Got One
Former Vice President Dick Cheney had a heart transplanted into his vacant chest cavity on Saturday and was recovering in a Virginia …
Angry police seek right to kettle themselves
(satire) Police officers angry with the coalition government’s plans to cut jobs and freeze pay will vote on whether they …
Brutal Gang Leaders Force Nation’s Grannies Off Front Pages
A brutal gang of thugs has forced the nation’s grannies off the front pages so they can rob them of …
Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’? No, really.
This is interesting. I’ve just discovered (thanks to Lauretta Pearson) that the name Gideon actually means “Destroyer,” or “Feller of Trees” in Hebrew. …
Grannies are ‘mugging taxpayers’ says Osborne
In his budget yesterday, Chancellor George Osborne heralded a crackdown on grannies, comparing them to muggers robbing taxpayers of their …
Government – clocks to go back 64 years this Sunday
The government has decided to put the clocks back 64 years this weekend instead of going forward the usual hour. …
Coalition Ministers Bang and Stuff NHS Over Cabinet Table
Conservative and Liberal Democrat ministers have “banged” the NHS at a cabinet meeting after the impending passing of the coalition’s …
Lords Vote To Put Fingers In Ears And Go LaLaLa Over NHS Bill
The House of Lords last night voted 330 to 262 against showing themselves a report which outlines the risks of the …
England’s human wildlife faces tragedy as worst moral drought in 30 years hits habitats
A severe drought of benevolence in parts of England could have a serious impact on human wildlife, especially in the …
David Cameron unveils plan to sell off the poor
(satire) Sovereign wealth funds to be allowed to lease the unemployed in England, says prime minister. David Cameron will clear …
Out Of Control MPs To Be Fitted With ‘Propriety Tags’
Offensive MPs may be made to wear ankle tags that monitor impropriety levels. Politicians who fail to conform to established standards of good or proper behaviour could be …
Osborne poised to cut taxes for the poor – slash wages for the rich. Or something.
In an interview before he presents his budget next week, the Chancellor announced he intends to lower taxes for public …
Help make a definitive list of broken coalition pre-election promises….
Many people are asking, how come the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats are doing a lot of things after the …
Virgin Rail Set To Improve Children’s Health Services With Overcrowding & Exorbitant Prices
Core children’s health services in Devon are about to be privatised with the main winner likely to be Virgin Trains, who …
West Mulls Military Strikes Against IKEA
Western countries lead by France, the US and Britain are considering sanctions and possible military action against IKEA after the …
Lib Dems back euthanasia as party votes to destroy NHS and itself
The Liberal Democrats, who suffer from a terminal condition known as locked-in coalition syndrome, have effectively backed the right for …
Diet High In Red Tops Increases Risk of Heart Attacks
A diet high in deceit, particularly the red top variety, can shorten life expectancy, according to researchers at Harvard Medical …
The media is wrong. The LDs didn’t rebel against the NHS bill.
Why is the media getting this wrong? They all seem to be reporting that Liberal Democrat delegates rebelled against supporting …
Lib Dems Vote To Support Scottish Independence By Privatising NHS in England
Lady Shirley Williams Persuades LibDem Party Delegates To Support Scottish Independence By Voting To Destroy NHS in England Liberal Democrat …
Have you heard the one about Andrew Lansley?
Remember that great joke by Labour MP Grahame Morris about Andrew Lansley being a broken arrow because he “doesn’t work and …
Massive Solar Storm Causes 14% Jump in Homelessness
The government has blamed a massive yearly 14% shock rise in homelessness on the effects of a huge solar flare …
Scientific study reveals up to 95% of Tory DNA is Neanderthal
(satire) There is a little Neanderthal in nearly all of us, according to scientists who have compared the genetic make-up …
