(satire?)
In a major blow to Al Qaeda, the US National Security Agency has revealed it has obtained irrefutable proof that members of the terrorist organisation have been using Facebook and other social media sites to secretly ‘like’ numerous pictures of cats – especially ones with angry faces.
According to a top secret document obtained by the Guardian, the CIA and other US intelligence agencies have gained direct access to the systems of Google, Facebook and Apple and other US internet giants in order to obtain information on what annoying photographs terrorist organisations around the world have been sharing with each other on Facebook.
A spokesperson for the US government, speaking on condition of anonymity, explained the importance of the new information:
This is a major blow to Al Qaeda operatives’ ability to chat with each other about what they’re watching on telly or what they had for breakfast in the morning.
In addition, undercover agents operating on social media are able to keep track of high-ranking Al Qaeda operatives as they post self-portraits of themselves pouting in their bathroom mirrors.
This means that the ability of Al Qaeda to wage its campaign of terror has been significantly compromised by our ability to monitor how often senior Al Qaeda leaders like pictures of cats lying in strange positions with funny faces.
The National Security Agency operation which allows officials to collect material including search history, the content of emails, file transfers and live chats on social media was set up as a result of the successful operation to track down Osama Bin Laden after he posted a comment threatening to kill anyone who said anything bad about Justin Bieber on the popular Facebook page “International Jihad Against Non-Beliebers”.
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Al Qaeda affiliate G4S pins down thousands of UK troops in remote Stratford province
Oh dear! G4S were in charge of security at airport which let 9/11 hijackers slip through.
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As Ken Clarke and William Hague have been at pains to say recently, we have nothing to worry about from Snoopers or foreign mercenaries. After all Ken wears hush puppies even at work and William, well, he’s just William!
I complete my posting details in the full knowledge that even I don’t know who the hell I am!
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im surprised hague said that seeing as he has so much to hide himself.
not that he is hiding it very well.
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Reblogged this on Natasha's Memory Garden and commented:
Something funny for a Sunday morning. And who doesn’t love Grumpy Cat?
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Rumour has it that there may soon be a jihad against really bad puns!
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Cats with Hitler moustaches should give you a clue Tom ..Google it.
Btw benefit claimants are all terrorists Now didnt you know? Put both those things together and society is in peril ..apparently..benefit claimants who own cats with Hitler moustaches ..how will we survive ?
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Quite…
Two f’s in Ffion, but no f in children.
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