Tags

, ,

(satire)

Scientists have identified a peculiar-looking new species of living media fossil, which sucks the will to live out of every living being it comes into contact with.

The bizarre media creature – described as a cross between a bird, a vampire and a dinosaur – has been identified from fossils found buried on a satellite television station by scientists who say the species should have died out millions of years ago.

The species – which scientists have labelled the Kayax Burleyus  – is remarkably similar to a domestic rat and is said to be utterly ruthless and to feed exclusively off the emotions of human beings.

Kayax Burleyus

It has a parrot-like voice with two stabbing talons at the front behind a microphone for slicing up innocent people it gets close enough to interview.

The latest discovery comes at a time the callous vampire dinosaur appeared on satellite news attempting to suck the life out of its unsuspecting human prey.

.

Related articles by Tom Pride:

‘Skyfall’ plot revealed – 007 foils evil villain’s take-over of satellite TV network

OFCOM rules Murdoch ‘fit and proper’ to own David Cameron

The Sun on its refusal to print pictures of Kate topless – “we believe official boobs should be covered up at all costs”

MP Louise Mensch quits to spend more time with the Murdoch family

News Corp to split businesses into ‘busted’ and ‘still managing to get away with it’ divisions

Hillsborough – cock-up or conspiracy? (PS – anyone know if Rupert Murdoch’s a freemason?)

The Sun Prints Blatant Bollocks Shock!

Rupert Murdoch denies claims he may sell off scandal-ridden UK government ministers

 .

By the way, if you click on any of these buttons below, you’ll be doing me a big favour by sharing this article with other people. Thanks: