Tags

, ,

(satire?)

There was chaos in the UK security services after agents from MI5, MI6 and GCHQ discovered that secret electronic information could be uploaded from computer hard drives – such as those used by national newspapers like the Guardian – and copied onto what is known by security experts as a ‘USB’ stick.

The sticks – which are so small they can easily be be carried around in someone’s pocket – can be used to copy secret information stored on a computer hard drive and their discovery means that simply destroying the hard drives of a computer will no longer guarantee that the information is destroyed.

The shocking discovery of the ‘USB sticks’ comes just days after agents from British secret service MI5 unearthed the existence of a sinister network of linked computers known as ‘The Internet‘ which can also be used by terrorists to communicate information across continents in milliseconds at the simple click of a mouse.

Government sources have also indicated they have instructed security experts to investigate the existence of a group of fanatical extremists – known as ‘Beliebers‘ – who are believed to communicate online every word and action of a shadowy leader known only as ‘Justin via a mysterious messengering system known as ‘tweets.

A government spokesperson explained the clampdown on the cult group saying the actions were justified on the grounds that the government was hidebound to protect the British public from the threat of something which stood to destroy everything our country has ever stood for. But mainly because Justin Bieber’s music is really really crap.

.

Related articles by Tom Pride: 

Tories promise tough new laws to deport Justin Bieber

West Mulls Military Strikes Against IKEA

Breaking – Edward Snowden to seek refuge from US justice in Wall St

Gordon Brown To Blame For Crisis in Depp, Paradis Relationship

Now’s not the time to mention that Cameron took 8 arms dealers with him to Egypt. OK?

North Korea carries out pancake toss in defiance of international ban

Cameron announces plan to eradicate world poverty by bombing it from the sky with unmanned drones

.

If you click on any of these buttons below, you’ll be doing me a favour by sharing this article with other people. Thanks: