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(not satire – it’s the BBC!)

The BBC has apologised “unreservedly” for mistakenly not naming the name of an unnamed name it didn’t name in a Newsnight programme after it emerged the name of the person it didn’t name as a child abuser was a former Conservative peer – who it didn’t name.

The BBC’s statement, issued on Friday evening and also broadcast at the beginning of Friday’s Newsnight programme, said:

On 2 November, Newsnight broadcast a report which didn’t name someone we shouldn’t have named.

We apologise unreservedly for not naming the name we didn’t name and we will endeavour to make sure we do not ever again not name anyone we shouldn’t name – even if we don’t name the name.

The BBC would also like to add that the name we didn’t name was in now way connected to the former Conservative Party treasurer Lord McAlpine – a name we are not allowed to name. We think.

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More articles by Tom Pride:

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BBC Denies It Was Aware Jimmy Savile Was A Northerner

Scientists discover dim stars orbitting massive black hole at heart of BBC

BBC – No Bias Against Extremist, Loony Left-Wing Parties Like Labour

Kayax Burleyus – scientists discover living vampire dinosaur on satellite television

OFCOM rules Murdoch ‘fit and proper’ to own David Cameron

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