According to official figures, the Chancellor George Osborne’s inflated claims that the economy is on track have reached a 3–year high.
The Chancellor’s elaborated postulations hit an unexpected high of 5.2%, due to his claims the economy was on track and the government’s plan to take the UK out of the financial danger zone and “balance the books” was working.
All this despite the fact that under Osborne’s stewardship the UK now has one of the highest rates of inflation in the EU and one of the lowest rates of growth.
The ONS (Office for National Statistics) said CPI (Chancellor’s Poppycock Index) rose to 5.2% in September, up sharply from 4.5% in August. It was the highest overall figure since recording of Chancellor’s bullshit began in 1997.
In a separate development, the Chancellor boasted his policies marked a major break from his Tory Chancellor predecessors of the 80s and 90s, John Major, Norman Lamont and Kenneth Clarke:
Unlike my predecessors, I don’t think high unemployment is a price worth paying for low inflation. That’s why I’ve managed to achieve the difficult balancing act of having both high inflation and high unemployment at the same time.
Pride's Purge 
`That’s why I’ve managed to achieve the difficult balancing act of having both high inflation and high unemployment at the same time.`
Brilliant 🙂
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Well, Sabrewulfe, thanks but it’s GO who is indeed a most brilliant chancellor. His kind we have not seen for a long time, if ever before. Folding those towels in Selfridges must have stood him in good stead for his present job. 🙂
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GO is certainly an exemplar of his role … and he can hardly restrain his boyish enthusiasm for his success. Little hands clenched, we can see him trying to resist the urge to bounce up and down on the spot, broad grin breaking as he makes his latest ‘boast’. One of my favourites was his announcement that he had successfully tackled tax evasion…. I believe that I even heard the giggle in his voice.
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What’s interesting for me is how I suspect the Tories themselves know he’s worse than useless. Remember how he was sidelined during the election campaign? They know he’s not their biggest asset. But it doesn’t take a genius to do what he’s doing. Destroying things is easy……
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Superb! Like your style.
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