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(It’s not satire – it’s George Osborne!)

It’s not at all true that George Osborne doesn’t have any plan B for the economy.

In fact, he has at least three plans.

Plan A is more austerity.

Plan B is more austerity.

Plan C is – more austerity.

Have you noticed, every time there’s another piece of economic news – good or bad – we get the same bloody plan from him?

More austerity.

Osborne’s solution to Britain keeping its AAA rating?

“Austerity’s working. We need more austerity.”

Osborne’s solution to Britain losing its AAA rating?

“Not enough austerity. We need more austerity.”

Osborne’s solution to lower unemployment?

“Austerity’s working. We need more austerity.”

Osborne’s solution to higher unemployment?

“Not enough austerity. We need more austerity.”

Osborne’s solution to lower government borrowing?

“Austerity’s working. We need more austerity.”

Osborne’s solution to higher government borrowing?

“Not enough austerity. We need more austerity.”

In fact, whenever I hear Osborne talking about his ‘plans’ for the economy, it always reminds me of that old joke when playing a game of toss the coin:

“Heads I win – tails you lose!”

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

George Osborne Is Not A Wanker – He’s A Genius!

An APOLOGY to Rt Hon George Osborne MP from Tom Pride

Police called to George Osborne’s home after reports his lights on but nobody at home.

More People Believe In The Loch Ness Monster Than In Osborne’s Ability To Run Economy

Scientists – no link between destruction wrought by Osborne and Asteroid 2012 DA14

UK suffers worst double-dipstick chancellor in 50 years

Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really.

Countdown – red faces as contestant spells out naughty word from OBSOREN

ONS Figures – Osborne’s inflated claims reach new 3 year high

Loss-Making Osborne To Be Sold Off to US Conglomerate

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