(satire – I think)
The Chancellor George Osborne has blamed a computer glitch at the NatWest bank for his failure to reduce Britain’s debt and for the overall dreadful state of the UK economy.
Mr Osborne claimed he was unable to withdraw cash, pay for goods and services, or prevent the loss of the UK’s AAA rating after an apparent IT error caused the bank’s systems to crash on Wednesday night.
NatWest said in a statement that although it was “disappointed” with the disruption, it denied the Chancellor’s accusations that problems with access to its on-line banking services for 4 hours on Wednesday night were the reason the UK is heading into a triple recession.
A spokesperson for Mr Osborne however, insisted the bank must shoulder responsibility for the government having to borrow £158 billion more than the Chancellor had planned:
We’ve already managed to blame Gordon Brown, hot pasties, snow and badgers for the appalling state of the economy so obviously it’s now the turn of the National Westminster Bank’s IT Department to shoulder the blame for our own incompetent handling of the economy.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
George Osborne Is Not A Wanker – He’s A Genius!
Osborne on the loss of UK’s AAA rating – “Heads I win, tails you lose!”
An APOLOGY to Rt Hon George Osborne MP from Tom Pride
Police called to George Osborne’s home after reports his lights on but nobody at home.
More People Believe In The Loch Ness Monster Than In Osborne’s Ability To Run Economy
Scientists – no link between destruction wrought by Osborne and Asteroid 2012 DA14
UK suffers worst double-dipstick chancellor in 50 years
Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really.
Countdown – red faces as contestant spells out naughty word from OBSOREN
ONS Figures – Osborne’s inflated claims reach new 3 year high
Loss-Making Osborne To Be Sold Off to US Conglomerate
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Pride's Purge 
Whatever next? Sorry can’t save the economy because, crazy excuse a. crazy excuse b, crazy excuse c. And the sad fact is this is so close to the bloody truth of the little Twerp.
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He’ll be putting our country to rights by selling us the culled wild deer as British Beef products they have convinced us to buy since the horsemeat scandal.
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Reblogged this on theworldofneil and commented:
I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried it on!
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oh tom it’s always a pleasure to read your blog and always brings a wry smile
as for the government i think i could do a better job than those f**kwhits
andy
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