(It’s not satire – it’s George Osborne!)
The Genius Of George Osborne
People are completely wrong about the Chancellor George Osborne.
He’s not a wanker at all. He’s a genius.
Yes, I know he looks like a wanker. And he sounds like one. And OK, he quite often acts like one too. But I’m getting fed up of people criticising him without looking at the facts.
So here they are:
2012 – A Year Of Growth
Credit where credit’s due – Mr Osborne had told us his 2012 budget would be a budget for growth and that is exactly what he gave us.
Just look at this raft of growth figures under his stewardship of the economy:
- Inflation has grown from under 3% to nearly 6%.
- Unemployment has soared to levels not seen for 18 years.
- Bankruptcies have nearly doubled.
- Top executives’ pay has shot up by as much as 50% in the last year.
- The gap between rich and poor is now wider than it’s ever been in history.
- Sales of antidepressants have risen by 20%.
- Crime is increasing for the first time in 16 years (although Theresa May might try to claim credit for this particular success).
- Homelessness is 13% higher.
- VAT has gone up to 20%.
- The cost of living is rocketing – prices of basic foodstuff have gone up by an average of 6.2%.
- Rail fares are set to rise 5.9% in the new year.
- Hospital waiting times are lengthening.
- The number of recessions has doubled in less than 2 years.
- And after all that – what is the net result on UK debt? Aggregate indebtedness of the UK is now 11% of GDP higher than when Mr Osborne took over as Chancellor.
In fact the Chancellor has managed to achieve something even his Tory Chancellor predecessors of the 80s and 90s, John Major, Norman Lamont and Kenneth Clarke couldn’t do. Unlike them, George doesn’t think high unemployment is a price worth paying for low inflation because George has managed the difficult balancing act of producing both high inflation and high unemployment at the same time!
So come on all you Gideon doubters, admit it! That’s not bad for a man whose only job was as a towel folder in Selfridges before he was put in charge of the British economy. Is it?
For more dazzling information on George’s brilliance, here are some other articles by Tom Pride:
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