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Credit where credit’s due.

Before the last election, David Cameron said he would lead the greenest government ever.

Well he’s been true to his word!

Here are 6 facts that prove the Tories are leading the greenest government ever:

1) The Chancellor is Green.

Before the UK’s entire economy was put in his hands, George Osborne’s only previous job was as a towel folder in Selfridge’s. You can’t get much greener than that!

2) The Party Chairman is Green

Tory Party chairman Grant Shapps did some of his dodgy business deals under the pseudonym Michael Green. Shapps is Green!

3) Tory Party Donors are Green

Well one of the main ones is anyway. Philip Green – owner of Top Shop, Burton’s and BHS – has been one of the Tory Party’s biggest donors. And he manages to do it without even paying any taxes. Now that’s the kind of Green politics Tory party activists can get behind!

4) The Tory’s Coalition Partners are Green

Since they’ve been in government, the Liberal Democrats have produced enough hot air and gas on green matters to power the country for decades while at the same reducing their productive output on everything to a sustainable level of round about zero. How green is that!

5) The Tory Party Logo is Green

I have to admit I’ve never quite understood why the Tories chose a green elephant shitting out blue poo for their logo, but I’m told elephant poo is really very good for the garden. So that’s definitely green.


6) David Cameron is the Greenest Prime Minister Ever

His production of bullshit is entirely sustainable and he produces copious amounts of it. And bullshit – like elephant shit – is completely natural and ecological.  So shut up already about this government not being green.




Please feel free to comment.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

Revealed – the new Conservative Party logo for the 2015 election

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More People Believe In The Loch Ness Monster Than In Osborne’s Ability To Run Economy

Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really.

David Cameron is Jesus. Probably.

Coalition split after Tory minister says UK ‘peppered’ with too many wind-powered Lib Dem MPs

Cameron tells unemployed – “Stop whinging and get daddy to find you a job!”

Who would you prefer as PM? Wallace or Flashman?

David Cameron’s Advanced Driving Tips

Confirmation – Cameron to play Buzz Lightyear in Tory Story 4


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