(satire – sort of)
ONS data shows volume of ministerial common sense fell by 0.6% in January – against economists’ expectations of a 0.5% rise
Fears that Britain may be heading towards an unprecedented triple-dip recession flared again as economists reported a further surprise drop in governing rationality last month.
Despite surveys suggesting a rise in crisis management across the cabinet in January, the Office for National Statistics said the volume of sound government judgement fell by as much as 0.6% in January.
This followed a revised 0.3% drop in capability from the chancellor George Osborne in December – reflected in a number of high-profile casualties such as savvy and integrity across the country.
James Knightley, economist at ING, said:
The overall high levels of ministerial ineptitude are adding to downward pressure on sterling – fuelling genuine concerns by investors over the real possibility that the prime minister and the chancellor might both actually be a couple of incompetent knobs.
It’s also possible the fact that the economy seems to be in the hands of a bunch of sociopathic out-of-touch toffee-nosed twits who wouldn’t know how to organise a piss-up in a brewery never mind run a country – could well be one of the factors putting potential investors off.
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