Tags

, , , ,

(satire- maybe)

Osborne misses apocalyptic targets as outlook for end of world downgraded

Coalition ministers and MPs have put the blame squarely on the previous Labour administration for its “spectacularly failure” during its 13 years in power to ensure the world would come to an abrupt and apocalyptic end on Friday.

Speaking at a City UK fringe event on financial services at a meeting of European finance ministers in Birmingham yesterday, the Chancellor George Osborne pointed out that if the Brown administration had made sufficient efforts to ensure the world would be destroyed in a massive fireball by the end of December 2012, the UK economy would not have to be facing a further three years of austerity, massive unemployment and financial collapse.

In a speech Mr Osborne said:

Clearly if Gordon Brown had ensured the world had ended today, we wouldn’t be facing a triple-dip recession, a downgrading of our triple A rating and three more years of disastrously incompetent financial management of the UK economy by me.

But in a statement, a Labour spokesperson defended the Brown administration’s stewardship of the economy:

George Osborne and this Conservative-led coalition government have managed to miss every single apocalyptic forecast that has been made. The plain fact is that under Gordon Brown, not even one Armageddon was missed.

.

Related articles by Tom Pride:

An APOLOGY to Rt Hon George Osborne MP from Tom Pride

Police called to George Osborne’s home after reports his lights on but nobody at home.

More People Believe In The Loch Ness Monster Than In Osborne’s Ability To Run Economy

George Osborne wins BBC Spoilt Personality of the Year

UK suffers worst double-dipstick chancellor in 50 years

Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really.

George Osborne Is Not A Wanker – He’s A Genius!

Countdown – red faces as contestant spells out naughty word from OBSOREN

ONS Figures – Osborne’s inflated claims reach new 3 year high

Loss-Making Osborne To Be Sold Off to US Conglomerate

.

Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so please go ahead.

.

By the way, if you click on any of these buttons below, you’ll be doing me a favour by sharing this article with other people. Thanks: