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(satire- maybe)

Osborne misses apocalyptic targets as outlook for end of world downgraded

Coalition ministers and MPs have put the blame squarely on the previous Labour administration for its “spectacularly failure” during its 13 years in power to ensure the world would come to an abrupt and apocalyptic end on Friday.

Speaking at a City UK fringe event on financial services at a meeting of European finance ministers in Birmingham yesterday, the Chancellor George Osborne pointed out that if the Brown administration had made sufficient efforts to ensure the world would be destroyed in a massive fireball by the end of December 2012, the UK economy would not have to be facing a further three years of austerity, massive unemployment and financial collapse.

In a speech Mr Osborne said:

Clearly if Gordon Brown had ensured the world had ended today, we wouldn’t be facing a triple-dip recession, a downgrading of our triple A rating and three more years of disastrously incompetent financial management of the UK economy by me.

But in a statement, a Labour spokesperson defended the Brown administration’s stewardship of the economy:

George Osborne and this Conservative-led coalition government have managed to miss every single apocalyptic forecast that has been made. The plain fact is that under Gordon Brown, not even one Armageddon was missed.


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