(satire – possibly)
Tory Party electoral strategy was in tatters last night after it was revealed the party’s all-important demographic of substantially moustachioed ex-BBC sports presenters was deserting the party in droves for UKIP.
The news comes at a time Tory Party strategists had already expressed concerns about a general collapse in support from former 1970s and 1980s BBC stars in the formerly rock-solid Tory heartlands of Sussex and Surrey after detailed research showed half of them were in prison or had been arrested for sex crimes.
However, experts say some of the support from the most moustachioed parts of the electorate would be likely to return to the Tories if the Prime Minister David Cameron bends to pressure from the right-wing of his party to grow a substantial lip rug in time for the next election in 2015.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
Queen’s Speech: government to tackle problem of mass immigration into the UKIP
Bananas, nuts and fruitcakes express outrage at being compared to UKIP members
UKIP candidate – physical exercise prevents homosexuality (no – not satire)
Nigel Farage, the Tea Party Godfather and the man who tried to trash the pound. Twice.
UKIP chairman – every UK city should have 1 or 2 ‘holding’ camps for immigrants
Cameron must be balder to counter UKIP threat say senior Tory slapheads
Shock as fringe, right-wing “Tory” party comes 3rd in Eastleigh by-election
UKIP candidate – UK dinners flooded by criminal gangs of eastern European horses
If UKIP is so bloody libertarian – why has it said nothing against secret courts?
Government ministers announce plan to deter immigrants to UK by making it shit
See sample of new negative ads about UK for Romania and Bulgaria
Oops! Daily Mail gets British immigration test wrong
Daily Mail – Outrage As Number Of UK Immigrants On Podiums Hits Record Levels!
UKIP and a little matter of bestiality and necrophilia …..
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I’m voting the hairy bikers in to run the country – beards are the order of the day – moustaches out.
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I would like to know about these numbers/’droves’ of ex- BBC sports presenters who are defecting….? The only one I am aware of is 70 year-old Des Lynam, who has endorsed Nigel Farage’s party in the recent local elections, and has satirised the state of the [Tory] economy by rewriting Stephen Sondheim’s rather lugubrious song “Send In The Clowns”…..
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tunefultony – you do realise I was joking about Cameron growing a moustache to appease his right-wing backbenchers, don’t you? 😉
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Tom Pride: Yes, I surmised that you might be ‘aving a larf’, as they say, even though it said “satire probably”. I am not too sure about David Cameron growing a moustache…~ David Beckham tried to grow one,but we had got so used to seeing him moustache-less that it looked strange.
I suppose for quicker results he could just buy one and paste/glue it on,
and I wouldn’t mind it if it made him look comical,
such as the moustachioed Charles Chaplin, Salvador Dali or Groucho Marx 🙂
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Tom Pride: By the way Tom, apropos of a different thread blog of yours, I e-mailed Sonia Poulton a few days ago, just for fun, not thinking she would reply, but today lo and behold, she has sent me a 4-line reply, telling me to open my eyes and not be a sheep!! … ~~~BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! :)- PS: Do you think this is a conversation I should cultivate..??
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If you question her or say anything at all she doesn’t like – she’ll just insult you and block you. So no point really.
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A patriotic renovation of the mighty “Kitchener” or the more business savvy “J.P.Morgan” I think would be great choices. I’m going to suggest the moustache is detachable, i.e. the theatrical variety to provide instant ability to enact u-turn and re-turn with the application of thinners or spirit gum.
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