(satire – possibly)
Tory Party electoral strategy was in tatters last night after it was revealed the party’s all-important demographic of substantially moustachioed ex-BBC sports presenters was deserting the party in droves for UKIP.
The news comes at a time Tory Party strategists had already expressed concerns about a general collapse in support from former 1970s and 1980s BBC stars in the formerly rock-solid Tory heartlands of Sussex and Surrey after detailed research showed half of them were in prison or had been arrested for sex crimes.
However, experts say some of the support from the most moustachioed parts of the electorate would be likely to return to the Tories if the Prime Minister David Cameron bends to pressure from the right-wing of his party to grow a substantial lip rug in time for the next election in 2015.
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