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(satire – possibly)

Tory Party electoral strategy was in tatters last night after it was revealed the party’s all-important demographic of substantially moustachioed ex-BBC sports presenters was deserting the party in droves for UKIP.

The news comes at a time Tory Party strategists had already expressed concerns about a general collapse in support from former 1970s and 1980s BBC stars in the formerly rock-solid Tory heartlands of Sussex and Surrey after detailed research showed half of them were in prison or had been arrested for sex crimes.

However, experts say some of the support from the most moustachioed parts of the electorate would be likely to return to the Tories if the Prime Minister David Cameron bends to pressure from the right-wing of his party to grow a substantial lip rug in time for the next election in 2015.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

Queen’s Speech: government to tackle problem of mass immigration into the UKIP

Bananas, nuts and fruitcakes express outrage at being compared to UKIP members

UKIP candidate – physical exercise prevents homosexuality (no – not satire)

Nigel Farage, the Tea Party Godfather and the man who tried to trash the pound. Twice.

UKIP chairman – every UK city should have 1 or 2 ‘holding’ camps for immigrants

Cameron must be balder to counter UKIP threat say senior Tory slapheads

Shock as fringe, right-wing “Tory” party comes 3rd in Eastleigh by-election

UKIP candidate – UK dinners flooded by criminal gangs of eastern European horses

If UKIP is so bloody libertarian – why has it said nothing against secret courts?

Government ministers announce plan to deter immigrants to UK by making it shit

See sample of new negative ads about UK for Romania and Bulgaria

Oops! Daily Mail gets British immigration test wrong

Daily Mail – Outrage As Number Of UK Immigrants On Podiums Hits Record Levels!

UKIP and a little matter of bestiality and necrophilia …..


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