Coalition, EU, Europe, immigration, international, unemployment
(satire – possibly)
The coalition government has revealed detailed plans to curb immigration into the UK by making the country so rubbish nobody in their right mind would ever want to come over here to live.
The 5-point plan to cut the number of immigrants includes:
- An end to decent affordable healthcare
- Shit, low-paid jobs for 99% of the population
- The most expensive and unreliable rail system in Europe
- Ridiculously low wages and massively high prices and rents
- Higher taxes on pasties, grannies and bedrooms
A spokesperson for Number 10 explained how the coalition hopes to reduce the standard of living for UK residents to such a low level that even people from countries like Bulgaria and Romania wouldn’t want to come here:
It’s a scandal that under the previous Labour administration we had 13 years of growth, low unemployment and low inflation which only served to encourage people to come here from abroad.
That is why this government is doing its best to cut the number of immigrants wanting to come to the UK by completely destroying economic growth, massively increasing unemployment, hiking the prices of everything to unaffordable levels and basically making Britain completely unbearable for anyone who has to live here.
Independent experts have estimated if the government succeeds in its plans to make Britain as shit as possible, by 2017 the number of people remaining in the UK could be reduced to just a few billionaire tax exiles here on flying visits to inspect their fixed assets, a handful of brave tourists on safari taking photographs of wild bands of untamed royalty roaming the wastelands of inner-city London and a couple of hundred undomesticated MPs living off expenses.
Related articles by Tom Pride:
See sample of new negative ads about UK for Romania and Bulgaria
Oops! Daily Mail gets British immigration test wrong
Daily Mail – Outrage As Number Of UK Immigrants On Podiums Hits Record Levels!
FSA – dangerous levels of unprocessed tripe and traces of chicken DNA found in Cameron speech
Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so please go ahead.
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Is this part two of the previous blog or the same blog re worded ?
Nothing about TLB workfare provider employees insulting claimants or Elm guest house investigation ..?
Idea pot run dry …
Oh BTW you got named in another blog regarding that DPAC activist in wales who was visited by the police ..recently ..
Here’s a story for you. A company called one support gets the contract to run a hostel for mentally ill people. They put in a low bid to get the contract . To maximize profits they halved the staff. That means you have less staff dealing with more clients . One day a staff member had to take a client to hospital and rush back to hostel to see to other clients . When they later went to collect the previous client from hospital they found the client had gone missing . Cctv showed him leaving the hospital. Days passed until the police contacted them to inform them that the client had made his way to north London and had been standing at a bus stop FOR THREE DAYS.
The client didn’t have s mobile phone.
Later the whole staff were told that their salary was to be reduced.
Welcome to corporate Britain.
Brilliant 🙂 but sadly more true than most people are yet to realise.
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guy fawkes said:
Is there anywhere left worth running to, perhaps we should book a flight on virgin challenger ( I think that is the name of the futuristic plane?)
guy fawkes said:
It was the virgin galactic that goes into space the challenger goes beneath the oceon -no thanks.
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Chris Tandy said:
Bulgaria is becoming high on my list of places to go and live. I wish I’d bought the house there for sale for £6,000, complete with plum vineyard and distillery, in an idyllic-looking village.
I am ashamed of being British.
Stop the press latest news .. tv stars ant and Dec sometimes have a falling out when they play a board game..
guy fawkes said:
I think I will advertize in the bulgarian press for lodgers so I do not have to move out of my home due to the bedroom tax.
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You obviously don’t appreciate the difficult decisions the coalition have had to make to clear up the terrible financial mess left behind by the Romans. Bloody Romans. What did they ever do for us?
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Did you hear about the pycopath that went missing from a mental hospital, it was reported he was found good and safe at 10 downing street!