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Outspoken former Conservative chairman Lord Tebbit has joined a growing chorus urging action to save the world’s endangered bee populations under threat from gay marriage saying it would pave the way for queens to become lesbians thereby endangering future colonies.

In an interview for the Big IssueLord Tebbit also claimed that legislation legalising gay marriage would pave the way for higher honey prices as bees spent less time and energy on making honey from nectar in order to concentrate more on making honey with each other.

Tebbit said that Downing Street had tried to push the legislation too quickly and had not properly considered what the full ramifications of allowing gay marriage might be for the future of English breakfasts:

I said to a minister: have you thought this through? Because you’re affecting the future of toast eating, too.

It’s time more decent people stood up against this insidious attempt to wreck English breakfast routines in the name of equality.


OK- so that’s ridiculous satire. But no more ridiculous than what Tebbit actually said.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

Tory Ornithology – interesting facts about the Common Loon

Class warfare comes to the Tory Party

Toffs more likely to cheat, defect and be traitors (so Cameron’s in trouble)

Cameron announces plans to grow moustache as ex-BBC sports presenters desert Tories in droves

Tory Modernisers Vow To Drag Party Into 19th Century

Genealogists Confirm David Cameron Is A Bastard

Queen’s Speech: government to tackle problem of mass immigration into the UKIP

Bananas, nuts and fruitcakes express outrage at being compared to UKIP members

Nigel Farage, the Tea Party Godfather and the man who tried to trash the pound. Twice.

UKIP chairman – every UK city should have 1 or 2 ‘holding’ camps for immigrants

If UKIP is so bloody libertarian – why has it said nothing against secret courts?

Government ministers announce plan to deter immigrants to UK by making it shit

Oops! Daily Mail gets British immigration test wrong

Daily Mail – Outrage As Number Of UK Immigrants On Podiums Hits Record Levels!


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