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(satire – barely)

The Prime Minister David Cameron has denied the Conservative Party is in disarray over Europe after announcing he fully supported the supporters of a vote supporting a vote on the UK’s membership of the European Union – a vote which he says he has always supported.

In a statement which set out to clear up any confusion, Mr Cameron rejected criticism of increasing chaos in the government over European policy and said he was more than happy to support a vote amending government policy if an amendment to amend government policy was supported in an amendment:

I would like to clear up any impression of confusion by stating clearly that I am more than happy to support an amendment amending our policies announced in the Queen’s Speech should parliament decide an amendment to amend the policies should be amended – even if that were to result in an amendment of our policies.

Nothing could be clearer than that.

A spokesperson for William Hague, the Foreign Secretary said the Foreign Office would not be issuing a statement on the possibility of official change in government policy towards UK membership of the European Union on the basis that they didn’t have a clue what the f**k was going on.

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UKIP and a little matter of bestiality and necrophilia …..

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