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All European royals were significantly down today after the German leader Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg-Gotha told her Greek counterpart, Philip Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg that he needed to continue with the reforms he had previously pledged to make to himself, or face an exit from the palace.

The Greek and German failed to reach a compromise over the reforms and although it is thought negotiations will continue behind closed doors for at least another day, experts say time is running out for the Greek if he wants to avoid leaving the palace.

It is thought the conflict arose after a German ultimatum demanded the Greek do more to reform himself, openly accusing him of being ‘lazy’ and ‘not doing enough to keep her happy’.

An expert on European royalty explained the origins of the dispute:

This conflict has been simmering for a while now, but it apparently all came to a head after he called for a renegotiation of the terms of the reforms – resulting in a shouting match during which she reportedly threw a silver sceptre at him while referring to him as a ‘lazy Greek daygo’.

Experts say the German leader has apparently hardened her stance recently, demanding her Greek husband stops watching telly every evening and goes out to walk the corgis a bit more instead. It is also reported she claims he needs to stop wasting the massive subsidies he’s been given on buying rounds with his mates down the pub, warning that he risks leaving the family palace if he doesn’t spend more time with her and the kids.

A spokesperson for Philip said the Greek prince was willing to compromise but was unlikely to agree to such harsh conditions:

He’s willing to walk the dogs a bit more but demanding he stops watching the match and going down the pub with his mates is completely unreasonable. Why should he be made to suffer so much when she also gets paid huge amounts for doing sweet FA herself?


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