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In a bid to underline its maxim that we are all in this together, the government has announced it will extend its own retirement age and will now be eligible for election after 67 years in office, in line with other public sector workers.

Under the Pensions Bill, the Government will replace the existing “complex” system of government, where elections are held every 5 years, and replace it with a simplified single electoral system, where voters are only eligible to vote after they have been continuously screwed by the government for 67 years.

The reforms follow concerns that people are being discouraged to vote as they are being put off by the current system, which involves having to go to a local polling station every 5 years and look at complicated lists of candidates that have to be marked with an X.

But the government has also sent a strong signal that the age of government retirement will continually creep up as the voting system is routinely reviewed to make sure it keeps pace with the increasing incompetence of government ministers.

A government spokesperson explained the reasoning behind the changes:

With our abysmal record of economic mismanagement, it’s obviously going to be at least 2080 before we can even start to think about coming out of this recession – so clearly that would be a good time for an election.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

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Osborne – fat-cat bakers responsible for economic crisis

IDS – government ministers just sit around drinking coffee all day

Department of Work & Pensions – Death No Reason Not To Be Classified As ‘Fit For Work’

Government launch ‘rolling’ plan to help the unemployed uproot in search of work

Cameron – Capping Banker’s Benefits At £26,000 An Hour “A Basic Issue of Fairness”


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