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The government has announced that the Duke of York is to remain at the heart of the UK government’s export drive by fostering business connections with other unelected heads of state such as Middle East dictators. He will also assist UK trade objectives by jetsetting around the world partying with the many dodgy playboy businessmen he likes to associate himself with, including convicted sex offenders.

The UK Trade Department believes the Prince is ideal to develop lucrative trade with brutal dictators and perverted high-level figures in the business world  because of his close ties to people such as businessman and convicted child sex offender, Jeffrey Epstein, and connections with dictators including Colonel Gaddafi and well-known sadistic torturer Azerbaijan’s president Ilham Aliyev.

A representative from the UK Trade department explained what the Prince’s role will be:

The Duke of York is a well known and popular figure with dictators all around the world as well as being respected by convicted sex offenders and we are keen to use his connections  to help develop the UK’s very important and lucrative trade with these kinds of people by allowing him to jetset around the world on taxpayers money living the life of riley.

The move comes after the success of Prince Andrew’s visit to Davos as a UK special trade representative, where he used  £38,000 of tax payers money to live in an 8 bedroom mansion, eat dinner, ski and help develop UK trade with our closest and most important trading partners by taking the piss out of them.

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