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In a furious row with the British Prime Minister at the EU summit being held to solve the Euro crisis, the French President Nicolas Sarkozy has told David Cameron to stop lecturing them on economic incompetence:

We’re sick of you trying to tell us how to bankrupt our country. We know very well how to bring our economy to its knees without any help from you, thank you very much.

Independent experts, however, are united in their opinion that the French would do well to listen to Cameron on how best to run a country into the ground. According to one of them:

When it comes to flatlining an economy, David Cameron and his chancellor, George Osborne are in a class of their own.

The Prime Minister was adamant other European Union countries should take a leaf out of Britain’s book when it comes to economic ineptitude. A Downing Street spokesperson said:

They should listen to us. We’ve managed to raise unemployment, inflation, taxes and crime at the same time as achieving zero or negative growth in record time, an economic miracle the French president could only dream of.

In a separate development, the Home Secretary, Theresa May, has been offering advice to Afghan President Hamid Karzai on how to successfully turn a relatively law-abiding country into a chaotic, corruption-ridden society full of riots, demonstrations and rising crime.


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