Buckingham Palace says the Duke of Edinburgh has been admitted to hospital with what he claimed was a ‘bladder infection’ after realising he’d be able to miss both Gary Barlow and Sir Cliff Richard performing in the Diamond Jubilee concert.

Prince Philip was taken to King Edward VII hospital in London from Windsor Castle as a “precautionary measure” after doctors said having to watch hours of endless sycophancy from old has-beens in the cold would be unhealthy for anyone – never mind someone who is 91 years of age.

The news was released suspiciously just two-and-a-half hours before the start of the BBC’s diamond jubilee concert outside Buckingham Palace, which he had been due to attend with other members of the royal family.

The news that he will not be able to take part in the celebrations will be a huge blow to the Queen, who has described him as “my strength and my stay all these years – especially whenever I have to endure sitting through yet another bloody Elton John ballad”.

It is believed the Queen begged to be allowed to be at his bedside rather than have to sit through Gary Barlow desperately trying to prove he’s more famoius than Robbie. Again.

However, a Buckingham Palace spokesman said the Queen will still attend Monday night’s concert, despite trying really hard to get out of it.

In a statement, the palace said:

HRH The Duke of Edinburgh was taken to King Edward VII Hospital in London this afternoon, from Windsor Castle, as a precautionary measure after developing a bladder infection, which is being assessed and treated.

Prince Philip will remain in hospital under observation for approximately 2 hours, or maybe longer if the concert goes on a bit.


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