(satire – probably)
Ronseal – the makers of wood stains and preservatives – has complained to the Advertising Standards Authority after a leading UK politician compared its products to a toxic, slippery coalition which can be fatal even in small doses.
The UK manufacturer made the complaint after a senior Conservative politician, Mr David Cameron, claimed at a press conference on Monday that Ronseal products were similar to a poisonous sludge he was using to whitewash and cover-up bad smells and stains known as ‘Coalition Politics’.
A spokesperson for Ronseal explained the reasons behind the complaint:
We know that some of our products can have a bit of a strong smell sometimes and shouldn’t be inhaled or imbibed in large amounts but it’s nothing compared to this coalition which stinks to high Heaven and has been proven to be toxic in even tiny doses.
However, Mr Cameron refuted the allegations. In a statement he said:
We’re using the coalition mainly for self-preservation so we’re doing pretty much what it says on the tin, aren’t we?
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Chris Tandy said:
I think the sticky substance that caMoron actually uses, to cover up unsightly theft of other people’s money, is called ‘Wrongsteal’.
Possibly we misheard The Toff, and all assumed he was making metaphorical allusion to the maker of a well- known range of wood-dyes and stains.
I suppose, however, his toxic policies will leave an almighty unsightly stain on Great Britain..so…..
……I think metaphorical allusions to ‘Nitromors’ will be necessary after 2015.
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Tim Fisher said:
Reblogged this on The Chimera Papers.
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ship do an dem said:
thanks comment for this topic!
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