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(satire – barely)

In the forthcoming Eastleigh by-election, the Liberal Democrats have chosen local councillor Mike Thornton to stand against the candidate chosen by the Liberal Democrats, Mike Thornton.

Mr Thornton will campaign in the 28th February by-election against Liberal Democrat policies put into place by themselves as part of the campaign by the Liberal Democrats to oppose the Liberal Democrat policy of supporting coalition government policies which are publicly opposed by the Liberal Democrats – a policy supported and opposed by Mr Thornton.

Mr Thornton has been a Liberal Democrat parish and borough councillor since 2007 and has regularly campaigned both for and against himself and his own party’s policies during that time.

His selection was announced in an email to Lib Dem party members by the leader of Eastleigh Council, Keith House:

I’ve known Mike for more than five years and during that time he has tirelessly campaigned against himself and his own policies.

This ability to be openly two-faced by pretending to both support and oppose government policies is why Mike will make an excellent Liberal Democrat Member of Parliament.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

All Lib Dem MPs in England and Wales to be microchipped by 2015

Rafa Benitez denies offering to take Chris Huhne’s points

Lib Dems pledge to paint Big Ben orange. Or red. Or blue. Or whatever.

Ronseal complains after being compared to toxic, dangerous coalition

Coalition split after Tory minister says UK ‘peppered’ with too many wind-powered Lib Dem MPs

Charade-Gate scandal – coalition conflict escalates as Clegg accuses Cameron of cheating at charades

Coalition Cabinet Tensions Rise After Dispute Over Quality Street Chocolate Toffee Fingers

Sheffield man left with nothing after falling victim to Westminster conmen

Previously Unknown ‘Liberal Democratic’ Party Makes Breakthrough In Feltham Byelection

Nick Clegg announces £126m scheme to encourage employers to take on unemployed Lib Dem politicians after next election

Lib’ Dem’s Win Major Concessions From Tories Over NHS Bill Punctuation


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