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(satire – sort of)

Government ministers are proposing a minimum price of 45p a unit for Liberal Democrat MPS in England and Wales as part of a drive to reduce the too easy availability and selling out of Lib Dem politicians across the country.

The Home Office has launched a 10-week consultation on the plan, after pressure has been mounting on the government to follow Scotland’s lead, where the harmful effects of too many freely-available Liberal Democrat representatives in government has been all but stamped out.

The 45p minimum would mean a can of medium-strength Danny Alexander could not be sold for less than £1.56 and weak bitter Cleggs would only be available for at least £4.22.

Research carried out by Sheffield University for the government shows a 45p minimum could reduce the selling out of Liberal Democrat politicians by 4.3%, leading to 2,000 fewer losses of principles and 66,000 fewer stabbings in the back over a period of 10 years.

Ministers said plans to ban irresponsible multi-buy promotions – such as two-LibDems-for-the-price-of-one – were also actively being considered.

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Lord Ashdown to Lib Dems – Prepare for well-hung government!

Sheffield man left with nothing after falling victim to Westminster conmen

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Lib Dems Hail ‘Sensational Victory’ In Bradford West By-Election

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Liberal Democrats Threaten To Become Very Cross Over EU Veto

Nick Clegg announces £126m scheme to encourage employers to take on unemployed Lib Dem politicians after next election

Lib’ Dem’s Win Major Concessions From Tories Over NHS Bill Punctuation

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