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(satire – sort of)

Government ministers are proposing a minimum price of 45p a unit for Liberal Democrat MPS in England and Wales as part of a drive to reduce the too easy availability and selling out of Lib Dem politicians across the country.

The Home Office has launched a 10-week consultation on the plan, after pressure has been mounting on the government to follow Scotland’s lead, where the harmful effects of too many freely-available Liberal Democrat representatives in government has been all but stamped out.

The 45p minimum would mean a can of medium-strength Danny Alexander could not be sold for less than £1.56 and weak bitter Cleggs would only be available for at least £4.22.

Research carried out by Sheffield University for the government shows a 45p minimum could reduce the selling out of Liberal Democrat politicians by 4.3%, leading to 2,000 fewer losses of principles and 66,000 fewer stabbings in the back over a period of 10 years.

Ministers said plans to ban irresponsible multi-buy promotions – such as two-LibDems-for-the-price-of-one – were also actively being considered.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

Lib Dems Claim Victory Over Tories in Green Tea and Jammy-Dodger Policy Battle

Benefit Cuts Likely To Lead To Higher Unemployment of LibDem MPs says Sarah Teather

Nick Clegg to Lib Dems – “Prepare for Oppositionment!”

Lord Ashdown to Lib Dems – Prepare for well-hung government!

Sheffield man left with nothing after falling victim to Westminster conmen

Coalition split after Tory minister says UK ‘peppered’ with too many wind-powered Lib Dem MPs

Liverpool FC owners cool interest in Nick Clegg

Despite his lack of relevance, Nick Clegg is likely to have attended sensitive meetings, No 10 admits

Lib Dems Hail ‘Sensational Victory’ In Bradford West By-Election

Previously Unknown ‘Liberal Democratic’ Party Makes Breakthrough In Feltham Byelection

Liberal Democrats Threaten To Become Very Cross Over EU Veto

Nick Clegg announces £126m scheme to encourage employers to take on unemployed Lib Dem politicians after next election

Lib’ Dem’s Win Major Concessions From Tories Over NHS Bill Punctuation


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