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(satire)

A gang of smooth talking conmen has left a Sheffield man with next to nothing after conning him out of everything he had.

The 44-year old victim, Mr Nicholas Clegg from the Hallam area of Sheffield, only discovered he had been completely stripped of all his dignity after he was tricked into handing over everything he had to the smooth talking conmen – who gave an address in Chipping Norton in Oxfordshire

And police are warning many other unsuspecting people across the country could have fallen victim to the same scam by the same fraudsters – but not even be aware how much they have been conned out of.

The fraud was only uncovered after local residents started to realise large amounts of money were being withdrawn from the country’s coffers and paid into off-shore accounts controlled by friends of the wily conmen.

Police are warning the public that the criminal gang may be using the Olympics as a cover for their scam and people should not allow themselves to be distracted or accept help from anyone claiming they can miraculously solve all their financial problems by stripping them of everything they own.

One of the men, who is thought to go by the name of ‘Cameron’, is described as red-faced with a distinctive ‘public school’ accent. The other – known as ‘Gideon’ – is described as looking like a complete knob.

Police would like to interview the two men in the attached photograph as it is believed that they are in a position to assist with the fraud investigations:

The police are seeking these two dodgy characters – a red-faced well-spoken man (left)  accompanied by a man of similar age who appears to be a bit of a knob (right) – they are often said to sign off their communications using the code word LOL.

Anyone who recognises them or knows of their whereabouts, should contact Westminster urgently. They can be contacted on 016-6384448 or on 023-6384508/9/10. Alternatively, informants may contact Crime Stoppers on 086120 9990171.

All information will be treated with the strictest confidence.

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Related articles by Tom Pride on this subject:

ASK NICK! Advice From Our Resident Agony Aunt – Nick Clegg

Nick Clegg Unveils Plans To Do Something Nice To Make People Notice Him

Liverpool FC owners cool interest in Nick Clegg

Despite his lack of relevance, Nick Clegg is likely to have attended sensitive meetings, No 10 admits

Lib Dems Hail ‘Sensational Victory’ In Bradford West By-Election

Experts Delve Mystery Of LibDem Love For ‘Dear Leader’

Liberal Democrats Threaten To Become Very Cross Over EU Veto

My love that dare not speak its name – by Nick Clegg

Nick Clegg announces £126m scheme to encourage employers to take on unemployed Lib Dem politicians after next election

Lib’ Dem’s Win Major Concessions From Tories Over NHS Bill Punctuation

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