Tags
BBC, Daily Mail, elections, Murdoch, open government, politics
(satire – I think!)
IMPORTANT ADVICE to media barons who may be thinking of buying a new prime minister this christmas
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It’s a wonderful experience to see the excited faces of media moguls light up when they are presented with an adorable, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed brand new prime minister. However, there’s no getting away from the fact that the initial excitement doesn’t last very long and it is only one side of the coin.
Prime ministers are hard work. They chew, they soil, they can interrupt what you’re doing all the time, they dig and they demand a lot of attention – it’s rather like taking on a child.
Although prime ministers grow quickly, their education is a slow process, even if you have an intelligent breed. During your new prime minister’s education and socialisation you need to remain calm and patient at all times, and above all you must be consistent, even if you are at the end of your tether. One small slip up confuses your premier pup and all the house training you have done can be undone very quickly and set his education back a long time.
Newly acquired pet PMs tend to take up a lot of time, Just like a child, they need walking, toilet training, feeding, brushing, cleaning up after, as well as playing with. Some press barons can soon lose interest with all these chores and they inevitably fall into neglect. When thinking of taking on a new PM, you have to ask yourself if you have time for all these little jobs every day. If not, your bored depressed little prime minister will probably eat your sofa.
Of course political parties are applying hard sell tactics to persuade you to buy their pups especially in the run up to elections. They prey on unsuspecting press barons who are unsure if they should buy a premier puppy or not. The parties recklessly force media moguls into making rash decisions that are not thought through properly. The salesmen may say “Well, someone else is interested in this gorgeous premier”, of course there isn’t anyone else, they just want to force the sale by making the buyers think that they may lose the chance of buying the cute little puppy they have shown interest in. The PM breeders are not concerned if you are ready and able to take on a new premier, they are only thinking of the wonderful Christmas they can have once they have their hands on your newspapers.
So here is some advice to any media barons who may be thinking of taking on a new PM this Christmas.
Essential PM Training and Toilet Training
Every new PM needs to be taught good manners and have constructive lessons in basic control. This includes responding to its name, how to greet and behave politely around people and other animals, coming back when called, walking nicely on the lead, sit, down and stay on command, and allowing itself to be groomed and examined. As a PM owner you also need to learn what laws affect you and your lap-dog.
The first few days with your new prime minister will no doubt be wonderful and any mishaps will be regarded as little accidents and mischievous behaviour and all the PM’s naughtiness will be heart warming and laughed off.
But six to eight months down the line, your PM is still having little accidents. Your cute little puppy PM is now a big puppy PM, and proving to be a bit of a handful. Your readers have lost interest and everything is covered in dog hairs.
This is when the RSPCA see a boom in sad, lonely, unwanted PMs that have been abandoned by their media barons. The RSPCA cannot possibly re-home every Prime Minister that comes to them and the sad fact is that some cute adorable PMs have to be destroyed, due to no fault of their own, other than nobody wanted them.
So, Media barons, please please remember! A PM is for life – not just for Christmas!
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With thanks – and apologies – to this article:
A Dog is for Life, Not Just for Christmas
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Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so please go ahead.
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Pingback: RSPCA – Prime Ministers are for Life, Not Just for Christmas! | Welfare, Disability, Politics and People's Right's | Scoop.it
Jayne Linney said:
And What breed of Dog is the PM…. Hmmm??!
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Dave (but not a Cameron) said:
Jayne, a right(wing) Shitzu of course!
My apologise to all other Shitzus, who are much more adorable than that particular individual.
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Dave (but not a Cameron) said:
Sorry I meant to say a right(wing) Shih Tzu.
My bad!
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Dave (but not a Cameron) said:
This article is very funny but it’s The Dogs Trust that uses the “A Dog is for life, not just for Christmas” slogan by the way.
I support The Dogs Trust because they never destroy healthy dogs whereas the RSPCA do.
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Roy Anderson said:
I prefer CATS. They are much more independent and hate dogs becomming PM’s. We have a lot of mad dogs in Thailand who insist that they know better and like dressing up in military uniforms. Their slogan is ” coups not scoops.”
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The Infamous Culex said:
In Thailand, isn’t the slogan different?
A dog is not just for Christmas – if you’re not too greedy, you have some left over for Boxing Day, too.
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Nobody said:
Funneh!
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Dave (but not a Cameron) said:
Your version of Thailand’s slogan also applies to most far eastern countries, including
China and Korea to name but two.
How long before the Brits start eating dogs & cats in order to survive during Cameron’s dictatorship?
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Linda Kilpatrick said:
What they dont tell you is that the PM breed is in fact the runt of an already unbalanced breed (Politicians) resulting in the pup having mental illness, aggression issues and the need to shite all over the place.
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minou999 said:
It’s when your new pet PM starts rubbing himself all over your leg that it gets most embarassing and needs to be hushed up.
The most worrying factor is the in-breeding of these pedigree types, it can cause all sorts of physical and mental problems that prove very costly to their owners in the long run.
And they all start looking like each other. There’s not a lot to choose from between the Miller band brothers and the Cameron and Clegg in the toy poodle class.
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bobchewie said:
Tom Tom Tom Tom. I have trying hard to get yr attention for hours now about some matters. Is there a problem your end ir you dont get mail or dont see my posts???
Pls reply..
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bobchewie said:
Tell tom to contact me
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bobchewie said:
Jayne ffs did u see link?
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bobchewie said:
Ha ha its all so funny..
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bobchewie said:
Did i disappear?
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