(satire)
George Osborne is under pressure to soften his hardline strategy of thick-headedness and ineptitude after almost half of the experts who backed him in opposition now say the chancellor should reverse his policy of being a completely useless twat as soon as possible.
In a blow to the chancellor, almost half the economists who strongly supported the Conservative party’s economic proposals in the runup to the 2010 election said it was time for a rethink on Mr Osborne’s decision to be a bungling idiot and urged the Treasury to take advantage of low borrowing costs to prevent any possibility of a further slide into consummate cluelessness by the chancellor.
Labour seized on a report in this week’s New Statesman magazine detailing the change of heart of nine of the 20 experts who signed a letter in February 2010 supporting Mr Osborne’s plans for extreme stupidity, with only one saying the chancellor should continue with his plans to stick to being an utter cock.
Although the economists said they had been right two and a half years ago to urge immediate spending cuts as a way of tackling Britain’s record peacetime deficit in the course of one parliament, they said the chancellor’s insistence on running the economy into the ground with his piss-poor handling of public finances justified more growth-creating measures.
Roger Beatle, managing director of Capital Radio Economics, said:
If I were chancellor at this point, I would alter the feckless idiot strategy, and I might even seek to rely less on being a useless pillock. Supply-side reform might be welcome but what we’re talking about here is the need for an injection of government competence in the all-important savvy sector.
The chancellor’s handling of the economy has come under scrutiny as Mr Osborne’s tentative ability to do anything right since 2010 has stalled. Output of competence is now lower than it was when the coalition was formed two years ago while the Bank of England believes it will take until 2015 for gross domestic proficiency and basic levels of common bloody sense to return to the peak they reached in early 2008.
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Top Tories – Osborne not fit to run the country into the ground, just its economy
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Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really.
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syzygysue said:
‘Although the economists said they had been right two and a half years ago ‘ … in the prophetic words of our Mandy (Rice-Davies not Prince of Darkness)…
“They would say that wouldn’t they?”
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Tom Pride said:
Oh blimey I know. Why can’t they just say WE WERE WRONG!
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syzygysue said:
Its another example of satire not being able to out-compete reality 🙂
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