Tags
(satire – sort of)
George Osborne has said he was “shocked” to discover that the Chancellor of the Exchequer pays “virtually no” income tax at all.
Mr Osborne said he had been surprised to see tax returns submitted by himself which use aggressive avoidance schemes to dramatically reduce his tax bill so he has to pay as little as 10% income tax to himself.
For his part, the Chancellor hit back, saying he had found hundreds of millions of pounds of income tax was being avoided by Mr Osborne using legal loopholes and pledged to clamp down hard on himself to make sure he didn’t allow himself to get away with it.
Mr Osborne told the Daily Telegraph:
I was shocked to see how rich people like me have organised our tax affairs, so that we regularly pay virtually no income tax. I’m talking about people right at the top like me. I’m talking about people with incomes of many millions of pounds a year, like me. In fact, I’m talking about me. And so is the Chancellor.
The statement by the chancellor comes after experts have expressed concerns at Mr Osborne’s handling of the economy, especially the fact that the Chancellor doesn’t seem to even realise sometimes that he is actually Mr Osborne:
Osborne Blames Chancellor For Lacklustre Economy
It also comes after a hundred leading economists called for the government to consider radically altering its course for the economy by doing something – anything at all – to avoid another recession. Their proposals, in a manifesto entitled “A Plan For the Economy: It’s Good To Have One“, was launched in London on Monday. They included detailed suggestions for Mr Osborne to consider, including:
• Doing something about the economy.
• Giving a shit about unemployment.
• Giving a shit about motorists.
• Giving a shit about grannies.
• Giving a shit about anyone.
• Being aware that he is actually the chancellor.
• Being aware that being chancellor doesn’t mean you just waltz around in chauffeur driven cars going from meeting to meeting but means you sometimes have to actually do things. Especially about the economy.
• Realising that most people don’t have millions stashed away in off-shore bank accounts to cushion themselves in times of hardship.
• Eating more pasties
In response, Mr Osborne said that the Conservatives were committed to transparency and that he would be ‘very happy’ to consider openly eating a pasty before the next general election.
.
Related articles by Tom Pride:
George Osborne Is Not A Wanker – He’s A Genius!
What if George Osborne doesn’t know he’s the Chancellor?
Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really.
Countdown – red faces as contestant spells out naughty word from OBSOREN
Loss-Making Osborne To Be Sold Off to US Conglomerate
Severe conditions alert for UK as cold front of austerity paralyses the country
The (Real) Definition Of Standard & Poor’s Credit Ratings…..
Loverat George Osborne’s Top 10 Excuses For Why He Cheated On The Economy:
.
Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so fire away.
.
By the way, if you click on any of these buttons below, you’ll be doing me a huge favour by sharing this article with other people. Thanks:
Pingback: Cameron Lectures Eurozone On How to Ruin Economy « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Sceptics Demand Referendum On Eurovision Pull Out « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Gov’ plan to reduce UK deficit – and bankers’ pay – by 100,000% « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Deeper Recession Looms as Prime Ministerial Output Slumps « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Osborne: UK economic recovery being killed off by Euro 2012 players « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Ongoing Eurozone crisis may force UK to seek new excuses for its own mess, warns Cameron « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Jimmy Carr morally wrong to avoid taxes without donating anything to us says David Cameron « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Gordon Brown To Blame For Crisis in Depp, Paradis Relationship « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Stock markets fall as Greece finally forced out of Euro by Germans « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Top Tories – Osborne not fit to run the country, just its economy « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Top Tories – Osborne not fit to run the country into the ground, just its economy « Pride's Purge
Pingback: UK suffers worst double-dipstick chancellor in 50 years « Pride's Purge
Pingback: George Osborne Is Not A Wanker – He’s A Genius! « Pride's Purge
Pingback: George Osborne faces calls from leading economists for U-turn on fecklessness « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Summer boost for UK economy as Osborne takes holiday from running it « Pride's Purge
Pingback: More People Believe In Loch Ness Monster Than In Osborne’s Ability To Run Economy « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Police called to George Osborne’s home after reports his lights on but nobody at home. « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Osborne – The Irony Chancellor! « Pride's Purge
Pingback: What if George Osborne doesn’t know he’s the Chancellor? « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Internet Guru Michael Green Denies Being Chair of Shady Political Party « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Osborne Vows To Reduce Budget Deficit From £14.4bn To Talking About Curtains « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Plans to cull tax dodgers delayed after discovery most are Tory Party donors « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Osborne skilfully steers us out of the recession he skilfully steered us into. Genius or ironic? « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Deeper Recession Looms as Prime Ministerial Ability Slumps « Pride's Purge