Health experts have warned homeowners to take measures to stop further infestations of “huge numbers” of pin-striped rats flushed out of city boardrooms by a flood of scandals in countless companies based in the UK.

The Chartered Institute of Environmental Health (CIEH) said people clearing up after the heavy series of turpitude and corporate scandal should block up holes and clear up waste food to prevent rats who are leaving boardrooms from finding havens elsewhere in society.

Rats washed out of city sewers are infesting homes amid more daytime sightings.

The pest-control industry estimates the number of call-outs to city rat-catchers in scandal-hit UK companies is up by a quarter.

CIEH director Julie Barratt said:

We know huge numbers have been washed out in recent weeks ….. for example we know that sewers have been flooded out in places such as News International, G4s and A4E, and we can see that there have been a lot of rat casualties.

When people are cleaning up, block up holes and don’t leave food lying around to prevent these vermin from taking a foothold elsewhere.

Harbouring disease

Ms Barratt said many city rats were intelligent, adaptable creatures able to replenish their numbers very quickly, and on the lookout to exploit new opportunities.

She said:

Scandalous flood water inevitably flushes the rats to higher ground. It’s really important people remember when throwing food out, to try to keep it out of the way of pest species – beware especially of those rats sporting mullets  – as we have seen in G4S, an infestation of those can be particularly hard to get rid of.

Official health advice on preventing city rat infestations

  • Corporate rats may move after a flood of scandal but are generally wary of 99% of humans
  • Put money in suitable places away from the places city rats like to inhabit – such as banks
  • Never approach or try to feed city rats – they will always bite the hand that feeds them
  • If bitten by a rat, immediately seek professional advice how to get back your cash before it goes on to spend it all on massive bonuses
  • Never try to dispose of dead rats by means of a parliamentary committee – they can often be full of rats too.

Source: Public Health Protection Agency

City rats are one of the planet’s most serious mammalian pests, rapacious and greedy to the point of avarice, they ruin businesses and harbour diseases harmful to 99% of humans.

They are expert corporate climbers, are proficient jumpers of regulations, and a single pair can multiply their salaries by as much as 200% within a year.

A spokesman for Spivokil, Britain’s biggest pest-control company, said it has seen a “small increase” in call-outs, but added that he believed the boardroom rat population was generally growing, blaming the greater availability of taxpayers’ money in the form of bailouts and leftover privatisation of essential services such as health and education – coupled with generally milder legislation of the banking sector which helps breeding.

UPDATE – King Rat Rupert Murdoch flushed out of major UK sewer News International by flood of scandal:

Rupert Murdoch quits as News International director


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