Tags
(satire)
A special report on the possible damage which can be caused by excessive banking has said that too much out-of-control banking can lead to blindness in those who indulge in it too much.
The long-awaited Independent Commission on Banking (ICB) report has recommended that too much reliance on banking can result in severe blindness to hardships of everyday life and can seriously affect other senses causing a condition known by medical experts as acute ‘out-of-touch’ syndrome.
The ICB chairman, Sir John Vickers, said that safeguards needed to be put into place to protect society from the dangers of over-excessive banking and he has recommended that bankers who indulge in risky levels of banking should have their deposits ring-fenced to avoid harm to the rest of society:
Of course an occasional bank is perfectly healthy and indeed a certain amount of banking is normal but it’s got to the stage where people are openly banking even on our high streets. Some people may get too reliant on it and some even find they need a bank or two to help get them through the day, which can become very damaging and cause those who do it regularly to become completely blind to the hardships that too much banking can cause.
However, Britain’s chancellor George Osborne has said that while he was willing to put some curbs on excessive banking, he was wary that too many controls might force the biggest bankers to move out of Britain to places where they would be able to bank freely:
The chancellor recognises that everyone at some time may need a bank now and again and he’s aware that when it comes to banking, speed and urgency is of the utmost importance. But of course as everyone knows, the Conservative Party is a party which is full of big bankers – in fact many people say the chancellor is a bit of a banker himself – and that’s probably why he’s so blind to the reality of what his policies are doing to the country.
.
Related articles by Tom Pride:
PM Blames Banking Crisis On Labour’s Prawn Offensive & Shellfish Bankers
MP urges easing of banker smacking laws
Bank of England Warns Banks To Build Up Reserves Of Hyperbole As Eurozone Crisis Deepens
Government Agrees To Sell Off Entire Loss-Making Britain
Ed Miliband: Occupy Movement Right To Focus On Problems With Camping
Severe conditions alert for UK as cold front of austerity paralyses the country
The (Real) Definition Of Standard & Poor’s Credit Ratings…..
.
Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so fire away.
.
By the way, if you click on any of these buttons below, you’ll be doing me a huge favour by sharing this article with other people. Thanks:
Banking is a natural function which has evolved into an essential means of relieving the pressures that may have been caused by external influences. Often practised by young men, Banking serves as a mostly harmless method for the discharge of (others’) excesses.
LikeLike
Pingback: Lest we forget – in 2007 Cameron endorsed even less regulation of banks than Labour …… « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Government Cracks Down On Banking Scandals By Ordering Urgent Name Change Of LIBOR To TRUBOR « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Banking Scandal – inquiry to be led by experts on corruption, lying and stealing: MPs « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Scientists Claim Tiny Sub-Atomic Traces of Ethics Discovered in Barclays « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Diamond Blames Whitehall Officials For Allowing Him To Be An Obscenely Overpaid Loan Shark « Pride's Purge
Pingback: New government rules – teachers to get just £2 million payout after dismissal for incompetence « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Senior government adviser warns that problem banking families ‘have too many children’ « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Rat warning as floods flush out pests from city boardrooms « Pride's Purge
Pingback: While the government does nothing about corporate tax evasion – plumbers are going to prison for it « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Ministers Admit Paying Tradesmen Cash-In-Hand To Run Country « Pride's Purge
Pingback: PM – make competitive sports compulsory for bankers aged 50 – 65 « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Edwina Curry: Tory Prime Ministers are gorgeous – even in wedlock « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Edwina Currie: Tory Prime Ministers are gorgeous – even in wedlock « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Government To Boost Jobs By Making It Easier For Employers To Kill Their Staff « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Maria Miller pledges to fight for women’s right to have more unwanted babies « Pride's Purge
The excessive and feverish banking activities are now beginning to smell a bit as the bed sheets have still not been laundered properly.
A strong father type figure would do well to enter the room and take charge of the situation, however, I suspect George Osborne and David Cameron are rather over enthusiastic bankers themselves; and not wishing to draw attention to their taboo habits, have been reluctant to enter the room to clear up the mess.
Evidently, Mr Clegg has caught these people “banking” and using public money too.
However, Mr Clegg has little or no authority on the dorm, so they are simply ignoring his suggestions that they should place there deposits in the “mother bank” to be inseminated into the economy and bring it back to life, instead of creating a mound of laundry and avoiding the payment of laundry bills and cleaners?
LikeLike
Pingback: Jeremy Hunt backs 19-week legal limit on pregnancies « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Jeremy Hunt backs cutting pregnancies from 9 months to 3 « Pride's Purge
Pingback: BBC executives deny claims of NHS abuse by government ministers were open secret « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Conservative Party Split Over Tame-Sex Marriage « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Barclays Pays Executive £3m to Clamp Down on High Pay « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Iceland gives bankers 9 months in prison – while in the UK we knight them « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Disgraced bank chief Sir James Crosby to give up 30% of his title and become Si Crosby | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Erm, the IMF ‘changed its mind’ about Osborne’s failing strategy? No. It f***ed up. | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Top bankers aren’t sorry for their reckless behaviour. They’re openly laughing at us. | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Drug addict ‘seeking help’ after admitting being a banker | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Personal debt to banks: £1.4tn. Taxpayer-funded bailout to banks: £1.6tn. Connection? | Pride's Purge
Pingback: David Cameron launches inquiry into abuse of pure ‘methodism’ by top bankers | Pride's Purge
Pingback: The definition of IQ according to Einstein | Pride's Purge