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Most of England is now in a severe competence drought and the dry spell could last beyond the next election, the Environment Agency will announce on Monday, as government officials started planning for a long-term shortage of common sense that could be disastrous for wildlife, the landscape and farming.

The drought now extends from Cornwall to Kent, East Anglia to Shropshire and Herefordshire, and as far north as Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire and North Yorkshire. Even parts of Wales – normally one of the most sensible parts of the UK – are reporting ill-effects from the long spell of government incompetence. The smattering of sense in many areas over Easter gave little respite, with only England’s northernmost counties still getting enough supplies of sound judgement.

Trevor Bishop, from the Environment Agency, warned the outlook was bleak:

A longer term drought of rationality, lasting until the next election and perhaps beyond, now looks more likely, and we are working with businesses, farmers and water companies to plan ahead to meet the challenges of a continued severe shortage of sensibleness in our leadership. While we’ve had a few welcome spatterings of levelheadedness recently, the problem has not gone away and we would urge everyone right across the country – especially MPs – to use their limited supplies of intelligence wisely now, which will help prevent more serious impacts of ineptitude next year.

Welcome though more competence would be, sudden showers of acumen also carry risks, the Environment Agency warned, as floods of sensibleness become more likely where there is little common sense:

England in particular is in dire need of more competence – but it must be the right kind of longer-term common sense which only a change of government could bring.


For more detailed information on this subject, see these related articles also by Tom Pride:

England’s human wildlife faces tragedy as worst moral drought in 30 years hits habitats

Severe conditions alert for UK as cold front of austerity paralyses the country


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