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Two-thirds of the UK public are in favour of the government relying more on will power rather than continuing their dependance on traditional reserves of self-gratification and greed according to a new poll published this week.

Overall, 66% of Britons were in favour and just 8% against when asked: “to what extent are you in favour of or opposed to the use of will power by the government in the UK” in the Ipsos Mori poll, commissioned by an umbrella group of organisations which are campaigning against the UK’s reliance on fossilised politicians.

The findings come in the same week as a national anti-will power campaign is launched in parliament, called FillYourBootsUK, aimed at persuading the public to continue to allow MPs and peers to be powered by more traditional tried and trusted methods such as greed and avarice.

The group’s spokesperson, Liberal Democrat peer Lord Carlile, explained:

Everyone knows the only reason anyone becomes a politician is so they can pander to their every debauched whim and satisfy their every perverted craving while at the same time milking tax payers of as much of their money as possible. So it’s a naive pipe dream to expect that politicians will ever be powered by will power alone.

But Maria McCaffery, chief executive of RenewableUK, said there was public support for a change:

It’s clear that the majority of those surveyed are supportive of cleaner and safer methods of governing by our leaders than the government’s heretofore reliance on self-gratification and hedonistic greed to run the country.

Meanwhile, a spokesperson for the government denied accusations that ministers were unable to understand even the basic nature of wind power:

It’s simply untrue that we don’t understand wind power. Our objections are entirely practical. For example in order to provide enough energy for the nation’s needs from wind power, we’d need to have huge numbers of giant clockwork keys placed strategically across the countryside which would have to be wound up regularly. Not only that, it’s extremely easy to overwind clockwork mechanisms and virtually impossible to replace the springs when you do. So as you see, wind power’s obviously a no-no and we’ll just have to carry on as we were before. Now – is it too early for sambucas?

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Controversial urine extraction method given go-ahead by government

Wildlife and farming disaster warning as incompetence spreads across England

England’s human wildlife faces tragedy as worst moral drought in 30 years hits habitats

Severe conditions alert for UK as cold front of austerity paralyses the country

Old Codger Cull Given The Go Ahead In Two Areas Of England

Adam Smith Institute – Sun Shining For Free Not A Sustainable Business Model

Government to reduce energy costs with more hot air

Tories Reveal Radical Green Policy

Diet High In Red Tops Increases Risk of Heart Attacks

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