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Chancellor George Osborne’s deficit-busting plans will come under more pressure on Friday as figures show Government borrowing is on course to miss full-year targets as a result – the Treasury claims – of an unexpected shift in the goals caused by badgers.

The rise in public sector net borrowing – blamed by the Treasury on unexpected financial interventions such as hoarding of assets by grey squirrels – is expected to be £13.3 billion in June, compared with £13.1 billion last year.

The weak figures will trouble the Chancellor who wants to trim borrowing in 2013/2014 to £120 billion from £127.6 billion last year. However, Mr Osborne claims the shortfall will be alleviated by a one-off £28 billion boost from the transfer of pension funds into Treasury ownership by hedgehogs – an explanation which has been met with some scepticism from financial experts.

Last week, Mr Osborne and Bank of England Governor Sir Mervyn King launched a multibillion-pound scheme to stimulate tax revenues coming from weakened amphibian activity particularly by toads and newts. The treasury claims this will not outweigh any beneficial impact of more fiscal tightening in the crucial field mice sector starting to kick in.

However on Thursday, the IMF said the root of the UK’s lack of growth was not the result of weak woodland creature activity but more due to the coalition Government’s unwillingness to deal with the bloated scavenger sector – epitomised by the enormous numbers of vultures to be found residing at top levels of the UK political and private industrial and service sectors.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

Coalition split after Tory minister says UK ‘peppered’ with too many wind-powered Lib Dem MPs

Peasants free to breed in peace as minister drops plans to shoot them

Wildlife and farming disaster warning as incompetence spreads across England

England’s human wildlife faces tragedy as worst moral drought in 30 years hits habitats

Old Codger Cull Given The Go Ahead In Two Areas Of England

Severe conditions alert for UK as cold front of austerity paralyses the country


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