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(satire)
Rafael Benitez, 52 – manager of an English football club known as ‘Chelsea’ – denies attempting to pervert the course of justice by offering to take former Liberal Democrat cabinet minister Chris Huhne’s penalty points after a speeding offence.
Former cabinet minister Huhne has already pleaded guilty to the charge but he has also directly accused the Spaniard of being so desperate for points he was prepared to do anything to get some.
However, during cross-examination however, Benitez denied the allegations:
Of course after failing to win the last 4 games at Chelsea, I’m desperate for points.
But unlike Chris Huhne – at least when I’m finally driven out of Chelsea – I won’t try to blame it on my wife.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
Chris Huhne was right to resign. Remember how he told his wife their marriage was over?
All Lib Dem MPs in England and Wales to be microchipped by 2015
Lib Dems pledge to paint Big Ben orange. Or red. Or blue. Or whatever.
Ronseal complains after being compared to toxic, dangerous coalition
Coalition split after Tory minister says UK ‘peppered’ with too many wind-powered Lib Dem MPs
Charade-Gate scandal – coalition conflict escalates as Clegg accuses Cameron of cheating at charades
Tory shock after Lib Dems carry out a pledge (to delay boundary review)
Coalition Cabinet Tensions Rise After Dispute Over Quality Street Chocolate Toffee Fingers
More Wet Downpours of Triviality Forecast from Nick Clegg to End 2012
Minimum price plan to end cheap sales of Lib Dem MPs
Discounting boosts seasonal Lib Dem sell-out with massive savings on its scruples, pledges and core beliefs
Nick Clegg to Lib Dems – “Prepare for Oppositionment!”
Lord Ashdown to Lib Dems – Prepare for well-hung government!
Sheffield man left with nothing after falling victim to Westminster conmen
Previously Unknown ‘Liberal Democratic’ Party Makes Breakthrough In Feltham Byelection
Nick Clegg announces £126m scheme to encourage employers to take on unemployed Lib Dem politicians after next election
Lib’ Dem’s Win Major Concessions From Tories Over NHS Bill Punctuation
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bobchewie said:
Tom you know that Boris is going to close some fire stations down. And. The mirror reported that the Tories are hinting they might privatise the fire service. Out of curiosity I looked at G4S website and found they run a fire service. You don’t suppose that they will get a contract do you ?
Oh on c4 tv news about the horse meat thing the news guy asked the minister about the level of cuts to fsa. His reply was that there was because economy was bad due to labour mess. So we eat horses due to labour mess.
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bobchewie said:
Tom so you get atos wca assessment even when you are very ill. Found fit for work have benefits removed. Put in appeal and wait. Then apply for crisis loan from social fund get assessed by crapita get turned down and put in appeal and wait. Ok just checking…
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bobchewie said:
Will this be britains future G4S Emergency fire service?
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guy fawkes said:
you score my points for this funny piece mr pride.
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