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(satire)

Rafael Benitez, 52 – manager of an English football club known as ‘Chelsea’ – denies attempting to pervert the course of justice by offering to take former Liberal Democrat cabinet minister Chris Huhne’s penalty points after a speeding offence.

Former cabinet minister Huhne has already pleaded guilty to the charge but he has also directly accused the Spaniard of being so desperate for points he was prepared to do anything to get some.

However, during cross-examination however, Benitez denied the allegations:

Of course after failing to win the last 4 games at Chelsea, I’m desperate for points.

But unlike Chris Huhne – at least when I’m finally driven out of Chelsea – I won’t try to blame it on my wife.

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