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(satire – probably)

The business secretary, Vince Cable, has ordered an inquiry into the collapse of high street electricals chain Comet after surprise reports that the failure could have been due to people not having enough money to buy new TVs or laptops.

The Department for Business, Innovation and Skills (Bis) confirmed that the Insolvency Service has launched a “fact-finding” inquiry into the failure of large numbers of the public to spend money they don’t have on electrical goods they can’t afford:

The purpose of the inquiry is to investigate the circumstances surrounding the insolvency of the high street chain and establish whether further action is required by the government to force people into buying a new telly or laptop even if they don’t need one and don’t have the money to buy one.

The inquiry – which is being conducted under section 447 of the Companies Act – is expected to focus on why parents seem to prefer to spend money on food to feed their children instead of buying them things like iPads and games consoles instead.

Several electrical retail experts have pointed out that the cause of the collapse could be traced to Comet’s failure – along with several other struggling electrical high street chains – to make inroads into the strategically important edible tablet computer and digestible flatscreen markets.


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