(satire – I think)
Energy secretary reveals he asked David Cameron to remove responsibility from anti-herbal tea Tory minister John Hayes
The Liberal Democrats are claiming to have won a victory in the now open warfare with their Tory coalition partners over government subsidies to encourage more green tea drinking in the form of a new mandate that would require an expansion of the amount of herbal teas and oatmeal and organic biscuits used for dunking in households across the UK.
The chancellor has already vetoed the original Lib Dem plan to introduce a decaffeination and custard cream reduction target before the next election, but the energy secretary, Ed Davey, claims that the Treasury has sanctioned him to prioritise decreases in the amounts of damaging black tea and jaffa cakes consumed, adding that he now intends to send the message “very clearly” to also increase the ratio of organic biscuits being dunked in the UK.
In a Guardian interview Davey also states publicly for the first time that he asked the prime minister to remove responsibility for green tea and biscuits from his energy minister John Hayes, a known anti-jammy dodger campaigner.
He wrote to David Cameron warning him that if Hayes continued in the role they would be open to legal challenge over any decision he made on the subject of the over-use of damaging cream crackers, hob knobs and ginger nuts.
However in a statement the Prime Minister said that Danny Alexander had nothing to do with it.
.
Related articles by Tom Pride:
Nick Clegg to Lib Dems – “Prepare for Oppositionment!”
Lord Ashdown to Lib Dems – Prepare for well-hung government!
Sheffield man left with nothing after falling victim to Westminster conmen
Coalition split after Tory minister says UK ‘peppered’ with too many wind-powered Lib Dem MPs
Liverpool FC owners cool interest in Nick Clegg
Despite his lack of relevance, Nick Clegg is likely to have attended sensitive meetings, No 10 admits
Lib Dems Hail ‘Sensational Victory’ In Bradford West By-Election
Previously Unknown ‘Liberal Democratic’ Party Makes Breakthrough In Feltham Byelection
Liberal Democrats Threaten To Become Very Cross Over EU Veto
Nick Clegg announces £126m scheme to encourage employers to take on unemployed Lib Dem politicians after next election
Lib’ Dem’s Win Major Concessions From Tories Over NHS Bill Punctuation
.
Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so fire away.
.
By the way, if you click on any of these buttons below, you’ll be doing me a huge favour by sharing this article with other people. Thanks:
Pam Field @earwiggle said:
This post just takes the biscuit.
LikeLike
Chris Tandy said:
‘Jammy Dodgers’ is a rather good sobriquet for tory tax-evaders.
LikeLike
minou999 said:
You got there first!! damn
LikeLike
drew said:
Proving rather in -digestive…..
A little, half baked…
Whilst the rest of us make do with ship biscuit and austerity, the quarter deck are squabbling over wind, oar or tug boat to bring them the choicest teas and finest dunking biscuits…
Where is Marie Antoinette when you need some cake and sympathy?
LikeLike
successcvs said:
Hi Be Careful Jammy Dodger fan , here. I could sue!
Regards FMcC
LikeLike
Pingback: Minimum price plan to end cheap sales of Lib Dem MPs « Pride's Purge
Pingback: UKIP now double Liberal Democrat support in latest opinion poll « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Comet Store Failure – Vince Cable pledges to clamp down on people not buying enough tellies « Pride's Purge