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(satire)

The IPPC is investigating an incident in Chorley, after a Samurai warrior with a white sword who was on his way to meet friends was shot in the back by police with a 50,000-volt Taser after officers mistook him for a disabled man openly wielding a potentially lethal white stick.

The Japanese feudal warrior, 61, was hit early on Friday evening following complaints that a man in dark glasses – who was making no effort to disguise the fact he was disabled – was intimidating members of the public by walking through Chorley, Lancashire, clearly blind.

The Samurai said the whole thing was like being “trapped in a nightmare” and that at first he thought he was being attacked by shogun hooligans.

He repeatedly attempted to explain that he was not disabled, Brazilian or a newspaper vendor, but the officer knelt on him and dragged his hands behind his back and handcuffed him.

Ch Supt Stuart Williams, of Lancashire police, said the force deeply regretted the mistake and explained that an urgent investigation had been launched to understand what lessons could be learned from the unfortunate incident in order to avoid attacks on any innocent members of the Japanese warrior class in Chorley happening again.

A 27-year-old man carrying a white stick was later arrested on suspicion of being blind and disabled.

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Related articles by Tom Pride on this subject:

Andrew Mitchell sacked by PM for splitting an infinitive at police officers

Decriminalise possession of small amounts of smugness, say experts after six-year study

Scandal as Topless and Legless Royalty Denied Benefits by DWP

Jobseekers Fight For Workfare Placements in NHS Hospital After Cameron Announces Vasectomy Operation There

Public displays of poverty and disability to be banned

Scientists Confirm Deniers Were Right – Global Disability Is A Hoax!

‘Tory’ Syndrome – symptoms include knee-jerk reactions and offensive outbursts

The government has finally done something so outrageous even I can’t be bothered to satirise it

Department of Work & Pensions – Death No Reason Not To Be Classified As ‘Fit For Work’

Government – Light-Touch Regulation Of The Disabled To Blame For Economic Crisis

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