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(satire)

Downing Street has contradicted Nick Clegg by confirming that David Cameron was aware of Michael Gove’s imbecility – even before the education secretary’s batty plans to scrap GCSEs by 2016 were leaked to the press.

Clegg vented his anger at Michael Gove over his failure to notify fellow ministers just how much of a boneheaded twit he was, and the fact that he had systematically neglected to consult fellow ministers over the extent of his bumbling buffoonery.

In an interview with Radio 4’s The World at One on Friday, the deputy prime minister said:

Gove’s nitwittedness has not been subject to a collective discussion in government. Neither myself nor the prime minister were aware of just how potty he is.

But No 10 indicated Cameron already knew the education secretary was bonkers because he had discussed Gove’s screwball plans with him before they were leaked to the Daily Mail, although the PM had not expected the birdbrained drivel to become public.

A senior aide said Cameron agreed that major reform was needed in the exam system but stopped short of endorsing Gove’s specific plans mainly because of what utter twaddle they were.

Clegg said on Friday that the Liberal Democrats were against:

….any ideas in education that would lead the public to realise what a load of boneheaded imbeciles they’ve got running the country.

Asked whether the Lib Dems had the power to veto policy, he said:

By definition in government – if you have collective agreement, and particularly in a coalition – it requires support from all sides, which is why no matter how bonkers these plans are, it’s absolutely essential that I eventually roll over, play dead and let them walk all over me.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Michael Gove to scrap education in exams shakeup

Nick Clegg vows to block Michael Gove’s reforms by tripling them

Gove – Tories to allow schools to be run for education not profit if re-elected

Gove – free bibles to boost nutritional standards on school menus

Reading, Writing & Counting To Be Dropped In Favour Of More Useful Subjects

Act Of Gove: an event beyond human control – often of a destructive nature – for which there is no legal redress

Government Baffled By Surprise 10% Fall In University Applications After Tripling Of Fees

Government Agrees To Grant Scotland Free School Status

Education Secretary – lack of teaching no excuse for poor academic achievement

Drop in University Applications Due to Royal Wedding

Labour appoint first openly Tory minister

‘Militant testicularisation’ taking hold in British society, says Lady Warsi

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