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(satire)

TV chef accuses Michael Gove of imperilling children’s health and educational prospects by being unhealthy, stodgy and tasteless.

Famous TV chef and healthy food campaigner Jamie Oliver has reopened his feud with the education secretary, Michael Gove by accusing him of lacking fresh and healthy ideas and serving up a menu of stale, out-of-date policies to school children which could be extremely harmful to their bodies and minds.

The chef told reporters that he has conducted thorough research into what goes into the Education Secretary and he had found Mr Gove to be lacking in any fundamental goodness whatsoever as well as being full of unsavoury ideas which often left a bad after-taste in the mouth.

Pouring further scorn on the Education Secretary, Oliver added:

Is it too much to ask that our children be served by a minister who is not bland, unappetising and extremely detrimental to their health?

Mr Oliver’s criticisms have been backed up by independent experts who have concluded that Mr Gove is extremely oily, lacking in goodness and much too rich for the good of most school age children.

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