A Declaration of My True Love by Nick Clegg
The first time we got together was when I was at Cambridge. I was like all university undergraduates – idealistic and not at all ready to settle down. There had been others of course, but as soon as I got to know her my heart actually fluttered and I knew we were destined to be together.
Everyone knew her, but not many at Cambridge in those days would have been ready to admit an attraction. She was popular with the more well-off students – the aristocrats and the toffs – I had been to a public school like them but I didn’t regard myself as a toff. So I wasn’t sure she would even be interested in me. But she was. I now know of course that she’s rather too interested in anybody who has money – the wealthier the better.
Although we got together, I don’t think we were all that suited – I was pretty liberal in my opinions about most things but obviously, being Conservative, she wasn’t.
I tell everyone I can’t recall being in her at Cambridge but the truth is I prefer to keep such delicious memories private.
After university we drifted apart and we didn’t meet again until after many years – during which time I had got deeply involved with another. My present relationship gives me everything I could ever want – in theory. She’s liberal about most things like me and democratic too like me and she’s pretty open-minded about just about everything. But there’s something missing which I couldn’t put my finger on for a long time. Now I know what that is.
I met my first love again, let’s call her Miss Blue to keep her identity secret, when I was working in Brussels. We were introduced by Leon Brittain who had asked me to work for him in his office. I jumped at the chance because if truth be known – I knew about his close relationship with Miss Blue and so I suppose I saw it as a way to get to know her again.
But, even though I knew I was hooked again – by this time I was in such a committed relationship that there was no way I could extricate myself from it. I suppose I also persuaded myself I was in the right relationship but deep down I always knew my heart really belonged to Miss Blue.
It was a difficult time for me. Being in a serious relationship with another when in fact all the time I was head over heels in love with Miss Blue. Despite our close contact – I managed to stay relatively faithful to my chosen partner- although obviously as a speech writer for someone like Leon Brittain, Miss Blue was in my thoughts daily. In fact, as part of my job I had to have frequent contacts with her and so our liaisons only served to make my love for her to grow stronger and stronger.
Then, on a fateful day in May 2010, I was finally able to openly express my love – the love which I had previously had to hide – the love that dared not until now speak its name.
I was able to declare my true feelings – feelings which I had tried to suppress for so long – since our first meeting all that time ago in University. Many people have said my close relationship with Miss Blue won’t last but what they fail to realise is that this is not a new love. It’s a passion I have held deep in my heart for just about all of my adult life and that is why my relationship with Miss Blue will continue and if anything – despite the rocky times we’ve been having recently – it will just get stronger and stronger.
Today – appropriately on Valentine’s Day, I am proud to declare my everlasting devotion to her and I can confirm that she and I are ready to enter into a steady relationship which will last and last.
NC + CP = TRUE LOVE
At exactly the same time Nick Clegg was at Cambridge, records show someone by the name of N.Clegg joined the Cambridge University Conservative Association between 1986 and 1987. Clegg however maintains he has “no recollection whatsoever” of joining the association.
Clegg then worked for EU Trade Commissioner and senior Conservative Party member, Leon Brittan in his private office, as his speech writer and adviser.
After the 2010 general election, Nick Clegg went into a coalition with the Conservative Party when he could have accepted a looser Confidence & Supply arrangement between the two parties.
Since then he and his party have accepted every policy suggestion of the Conservative Party and helped make them law.
On Valentine’s Day I beseech Nick Clegg to open his heart up to what everyone already knows.
His heart belongs to the Tory Party.
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