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(satire)

Former Liberal Democrat minister David Laws has become the highest-profile parliamentarian to be punished over the expenses scandal after he was sentenced by the Prime Minister David Cameron to serve a minimum of 2 years in the government for claiming more than £60,000 in false expense payments.

The 58-year-old former Treasury Chief Secretary, who had admitted over 40 charges of false accounting over a period of 7 years, was told by Mr Cameron that he was guilty of “blatant dishonesty” and a “serious breach of trust” and as a result would therefore be extremely well-qualified to play a major role in the coalition’s plans to sell off the country’s remaining public assets that haven’t already been flogged off to the highest bidder.

Following the announcement of the sentence, Laws said in a statement:

I take full responsibility for the mistakes which I have made and I accept that I fully deserve the harsh sentence that has been handed down to me of being driven around in chauffeur-driven cars for 2 years and wined and dined at taxpayers’ expense.

I would also like to profusely apologise to my constituents, my friends, my family and colleagues for my reprehensible behaviour in agreeing to take a role in this deplorable government.

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Question – any one know why expenses cheat David Laws has been given one of the highest positions in the land when other MPs such as Elliot Morley had to serve time in prison for fiddling less?

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Related articles by Tom Pride on this subject:

Sheffield man left with nothing after falling victim to Westminster conmen

Scientists Succeed in Growing Balls on Liberal Democrats in Laboratory

Met Office warns record-breaking hot air from Lib Dems to continue

How the SDP took over Britain

Guardian claims Lib Dem MPs opposed the bedroom tax when they supported it

Nick Clegg to Lib Dems – “Prepare for Oppositionment!”

ASK NICK! Advice From Our Resident Agony Aunt – Nick Clegg

Nick Clegg Unveils Plans To Do Something Nice To Make People Notice Him

Doctors – many LibDems suffering from Electile Dysfunction & fear of impotence

Lib Dems Hail ‘Sensational Victory’ In Bradford West By-Election

Liberal Democrats Threaten To Become Very Cross Over EU Veto

My love that dare not speak its name – by Nick Clegg

Nick Clegg announces £126m scheme to encourage employers to take on unemployed Lib Dem politicians after next election

 

Met Office warns of thick fog causing chaos in Vince Cable’s mind

 

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