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(satire?)

Scientists and ornithology experts are saying they are baffled as to how a pair of great tits – known by their Latin name Parus Major – have managed to take up residence in a residential street in central Westminster.

Blue tits – whose usual habitat is in the shire regions of south-east England such as Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire – are not normally found in inner city and urban areas and are increasingly rare in northern parts of the UK, having become completely extinct in Scotland.

However, scientists say they have discovered a pair of tits residing in two adjoining houses in Downing Street since early to mid 2010 and experts think they have only been able to survive by living on a diet of guile, duplicity and French champagne – all of which can be found in great abundance in that part of Westminster.

Ornithologists say over the last three years they have increasingly discovered more and more tits residing in parts of Westminster – particularly around the Downing St area – although according to experts it is thought they are unlikely to breed as too many of them are cocks.

Iain-Duncan-Smith tit-cock

Iain Duncan Smith. A great tit. And a cock.

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