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Possession and use of free will – already banned in the US and most European countries – set to become illegal in UK

The home secretary, Theresa May, has defied her own expert advisers and announced a decision to ban independent thought, a mild stimulant that is traditionally used by Britain’s Perceptive, Cognizant and Thinking communities.

May said that autonomous thinking would become a class C drug after warning that since the US and other European countries had already banned acts of volition and personal choice, there was a serious risk that Britain could become a “single, regional hub” for the illegal onward trafficking of independent thought.

She said that the penalties for personal possession of an open mind would be similar to those for cannabis –  with a warning issued for a first-time offence, leading to arrest and prosecution for persistent possession and use of free will.

May said that there had been an increasing number of seizures of self-determination in transit in the UK, en route to the US, where any form of thinking was banned by the federal government earlier this year.

The home secretary’s decision clashes with the expert opinion of her own Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs (ACMD), which has said there is insufficient evidence to indicate that excessive use of free thinking causes health problems, or wider problems in society, to justify imposing a ban in Britain.

The ACMD said that while critical thought was often used by students, farmers and lorry drivers to stay awake and keep working, since the widespread introduction of reality television in Britain the use of brainpower was now a minority activity used mainly for recreational purposes.

However, other experts have said that long hours spent thinking about things could become a barrier to getting a job although they noted that the majority of regular users of free volition usually moderated their consumption of independent thoughts to fit their work patterns.


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