(satire)
The chancellor George Osborne has defied his critics by narrowly managing to avoid being called a dipstick for a third time.
The news came as economic experts praised Mr Osborne’s successful efforts at avoiding the boom and bust of the Gordon Brown years by killing off and flatlining the UK economy completely.
However, some economists are sounding a word of caution after data indicated that government proficiency is contracting at a quarterly rate of around 1%, suggesting that the Chancellor himself could act as a major drag on economic growth in the next quarter of 2013.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
Osborne claims Thatcher “over the worst” and well on way to “full recovery”
George Osborne Is Not A Wanker – He’s A Genius!
George Osborne faces calls from leading economists for U-turn on fecklessness
More People Believe In Loch Ness Monster Than In Osborne’s Ability To Run Economy
Moody’s downgrades Moody’s on excessively materialistic outlook and crap forecasts
Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’? No, really.
Countdown – red faces as contestant spells out naughty word from OBSOREN
Osborne attacks Osborne’s failure to keep Osborne’s pledge to keep AAA rating broken by Osborne
An APOLOGY to Rt Hon George Osborne MP from Tom Pride
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Pride's Purge 
Sorry Tom, I have to disagree with your header – once a dipstick always a dipstick in my book – especially a know-nowt etonian dipstick who can only claim towel folding as a former profession.
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Reblogged this on kickingthecat.
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No triple dip so it’s only a boom boom for Osborne – not a boom, boom, boom.,where I live we are waiting for a single boom.
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A double dipstick is just a triple dipstick in the making, Tom
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In further efforts to beat the colder than usual weather during our non-triple dip recession cum depression of 4 years Richard Benyon MP has suggested that everyone should burn their neighbours to keep warm with the addition that they make make a tasty meal or two especially if you have some HP sauce
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He’s getting fatter and fatter while all the rest of us starve.
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Just want to correct my boom boom theory which in actual fact should be bust, bust, except when it comes to my area where there has never been a boom just one long bust.
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he,s been at the figures again jeff3
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Nice to see that you’re no longer spam to Facebook, Tom.
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I do love how he has avoided the triple dip by forcing deparements to underspend quite a bit. Not trying to save political face their or anything are you now Mr Osbourne. I’m sure those people who need that money don’t mind sacrificing their dinner or heating so you can claim to be right!
Goodness…
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Only in the UK would it be deemed wise to place a fragile economy in the hands of a man who doesn’t have the first clue about capitalist economic systems. The choice of The Rt Honorable Mister Osborne (or the supreme double dipstick) as Chancellor must cause great hilarity throughout the world. The choice hardly inspires global confidence in the UK financial sector does it?
For God’s Sake! You need a (age restricted) permit to go fishing, a (tested) licence to drive a car and as for owning a firearm… well… you get the picture. However if you want to run the economy the only qualification seems to be – to be utterly unqualified for the job.
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