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(satire – sort of)

Credit agency Moody’s has taken the first step towards stripping itself of its own coveted AAA rating after stark warnings to itself over its excessively materialistic outlook on everything in life and its crap history of being unable to foresee anything at all about anything.

Delivering a stark warning that no one is immune from being able to state the blindingly obvious over the eurozone’s rolling crisis, the ratings agency is also acknowledging the deep-rooted difficulties it has been having in being able to differentiate between the value of anything and its price.

A spokesperson for Moody’s explained the main reasons for its downgrade:

While it may be true that our economic forecasting on countries within the Eurozone has improved since our miserable failure to predict the economic crisis in 2008 and the subsequent double-dip recession, it doesn’t add up to much because let’s face it, you don’t have to be a bloody genius to know they’re all pretty much f**ked at the moment anyway, do you?

In a similar move, Standard & Poor’s has also downgraded its own performance from ‘negative‘ to ‘absurdly-unable-to-guess-what-the-f**k’s-going-on-anywhere-at-anytime-ever‘ rating – mainly as a result of it not having a clue.

Moody’s rationale for the downgrade appeared to hinge on a likely deepening of its wilful inability to understand that its usual advice to countries to use austerity as the best way out of a recession has been proven by recent macroeconomic data to be nothing more than a load of old bollocks.

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For a slightly more intelligent discussion why austerity has been a total failure as an economic policy, have a look at this excellent article from think-left.org:

Austerity, the Paradox of Thrift and a great graph

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

The (Real) Definition Of Standard & Poor’s Credit Ratings…..

UK suffers worst double-dipstick chancellor in 50 years

Scientists Claim Tiny Sub-Atomic Traces of Ethics Discovered in Barclays

Sheffield man left with nothing after falling victim to Westminster conmen

Severe conditions alert for UK as cold front of austerity paralyses the country

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