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(satire – I suppose)
George Osborne has admitted it was taking longer than expected for Britain to recover from the terrible effects of his own mishandling of the economy amid warnings that the Chancellor would miss his key economic targets of not being a complete incompetent waste of time and of space for at least two consecutive quarters.
The Chancellor also warned that the rich, the poor and everyone else in between would pay much more than at present when he unveils his Autumn Statement on Wednesday but ruled out Lib Dem proposals for a tax on being alive.
He also dismissed calls from Vince Cable to raise taxes on anyone who is not a fully-paid up member of the Liberal Democratic Party.
Mr Osborne said the independent Office for Budget Responsibility would report on Wednesday on whether the Government would meet its economic goal of reducing the deficit by forcing rich people to pay less tax, starving disabled people into finding non-existent jobs and raising taxes on grannies, hot pies and bedrooms.
Mr Osborne told BBC 1’s Andrew Marr Show:
It is clearly taking longer to recover from the severe economic incompetence the country has had to endure since I was put in charge of running things and obviously that’s disappointing.
But we should not lose sight that over the last year we have managed to create a much better situation where people have been so distracted by things like the Olympics and X Factor that they haven’t noticed my clear intellectual inability to be in charge of anything more important than wiping my own bottom.
That’s a real achievement.
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For more dazzling information on George’s brilliance, here are some other articles by Tom Pride:
Police called to George Osborne’s home after reports his lights on but nobody at home.
More People Believe In The Loch Ness Monster Than In Osborne’s Ability To Run Economy
UK suffers worst double-dipstick chancellor in 50 years
Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really.
George Osborne Is Not A Wanker – He’s A Genius!
Countdown – red faces as contestant spells out naughty word from OBSOREN
ONS Figures – Osborne’s inflated claims reach new 3 year high
Loss-Making Osborne To Be Sold Off to US Conglomerate
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Pride's Purge 
He wipes his own arse?
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Tom i have been looking into some stuff about companies trying to exempt themselves from liability should any mandatory claimant at their workplace suffers ilness or injury there. I hears these companies are getting advice from govt on the matter. Oh another thing – foodbanks are just leftwing propaganda , according to some tories..
Sent from my iPhone
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I believe,as from Monday he is allowing this to be done by a not quite dead yet person in the WRAG group of ESA on the work programme for an unlimited time/death whatever comes first as fairness to the “hard working taxpayer” and to combat a lifestyle choice of lieing in bed with curtains closed being ill.
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aw, come on, ,credit where credit is due, it can not be easy to screw up an economy and make it worse every day…….. what happens to his annual bonus if he makes a mistake and gets something right?
could you imagine rothchilds face if he found out gideon had actually removed some public debt……………………………..
our politicians never fail the bankers tom……………………..
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This is excellent news – the economy will soon be back on track, one toff’s arse at a time.
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Got this from a company site same name as callmedave.
“Each of us is dedicated to The Cameron Way. The Cameron Way is how we choose to conduct ourselves. We take pride in everything we do. We live by, work by and share Cameron’s Core Values of Integrity, Respect, Leadership, Excellence, Innovation and Responsibility. “
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Yes. Os a bit of a disaster. his cuts to welfare will cause untold hardship & not affect the nation’s deficit.Like a man who never had a real job – maybe Treasurer of Bullingdon Club! FMcC
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Thought you guys might find this interesting:
http://skwalker1964.wordpress.com/2012/11/24/bbc-cqc-telegraph-the-elderly-and-hunts-new-nhs-attack/?replytocom=4288
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‘Not quite dead’?- I think Gorged Osbourne should force the dead to WORK for the national economy, lazy B*stards laying around, either stinking up the place or taking up valuable greenfield sites ripe for building unaffordable housing, get them out there shelf-stacking for no wages, as interns at Conservative HQ or working for G4S!
After all, hard work never kil- Oh, hang on…
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