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(satire – possibly)

Ministers are to introduce legislation this year which will strip political candidates of their fancy packaging, after becoming convinced that misleading packaging of politicians is a key factor in why so many young people are tempted to start listening to them.

The move has been welcomed by health groups who say many studies show that listening to politicians has been proven to be extremely harmful to health, especially for young people.

The legislation – to be announced in the Queen’s speech in May – is also expected to ban all political discussion in cars carrying anyone under 16 years of age. Ministers acknowledge that the ban is likely to be difficult for the police to enforce, but they believe peer group pressure will have an impact similar to the ban on drivers speaking about Nick Clegg while driving.

plain-packaging-politicians1     What a political candidate could look like with the branding removed and graphic health warnings displayed

A spokesperson for the British Medical Association said stripping candidates of their misleading packaging was key to the strategy for reducing the serious and widespread harm politicians in the UK are having on the health of the population:

As doctors we see first hand the devastating effects politicians are having on young people especially, and that is why we are supporting moves to reduce the number of people listening to them.

However, some experts are concerned that putting politicians in similar packaging could lead to some confusion. One explained:

Imagine the problems that may arise if a member of the public wanted to vote for the Liberal Democrats say but by mistake discovered they had in fact voted for Conservative policies instead?

Oh hang on a minute, that’s not a great example is it……..

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Minimum price plan to end cheap sales of Lib Dem MPs

Diet High In Red Tops Increases Risk of Heart Attacks

Prince Harry Heralds New Era Of Royal Openness By Getting His Tackle Out At A Party

Scandal as Topless and Legless Royalty Denied Benefits by DWP

ATOS declare Richard III fit for work

British Association of Plastic Surgeons (BAPS) – public don’t take issue of breast surgery seriously enough

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